The Journey has begun! Days 1 and 2.

I want to die!

Ive been told that it gets easier, but I don’t know if I can see the light at the end of the tunnel just yet.

We started the first day of our 30 day challenge on Monday night. It had been a long, emotionally tiring day that included rude employees and an Easter Party to throw for my Brownie and Spark group.  Lets just say that I was in no mood to work out. But I decided that this was a challenge after all. A challenge to get out of your comfort zone and get off your ASS!

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Our very FIRST Sweaty Selfie!

Needless to say, we worked out. We (being my best friend and myself) actually worked our asses off. And you know what? I did not feel as grumpy when we were finished. I knew my mood would change once I began working out, which was a big motivator for me to actually do the workout in the first place.

Focus T25—Cardio was our work out of choice for our first night. It was hard, even doing the modified version. I almost gave up about half way through thinking “OH MY GOD, my chest is going to cave in.” My butt muscle cramped up at one point, which made doing those damn squats quite awesome. (NOT). I even felt that notorious ‘Im gonna puke’ feeling when I finished.  However, I did not give up. I pushed through, even though I had to do some of the modifiers a lot slower than they were showing, and I finished the whole 25 minutes of the workout. I am actually pretty proud of myself 🙂

My hips are killing me today and I feel like my legs might give out at any time, but thats ok. It will get easier. Hopefully after 2 weeks of this workout my legs wont hurt as much.


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Sweaty Selfie

On the second day of the 30 Day Beach Body Challenge we tried out the Hip Hop Abs video. I dont know about you, but I have ALWAYS wanted to try Hip Hop Abs. Well let me tell you, it was a flop! I knew I did not like it within the first 5 minutes. There were no modifiers, he went too quickly and I was barely breaking a sweat.

We finished the 20 minute workout and decided that we had not sweat enough, so we did 10 minutes of the Focus T25 Ab Intervals. This video was SO MUCH BETTER! It was hard. Hard enough that I couldn’t do everything that they were showing; but, I modified those parts of the workout so that I was still working on the same muscle group just in a slightly different way. Even though we only did 10 minutes of the 25 minute video we were sweating our butts off!wpid-20150331_211644.jpg

Sweating our butts off is the best part. When you’ve finished your workout, you FEEL like that workout did something!

Today, my thighs are in rough shape. I feel like I can barely walk. I definitely cannot go up or down the stairs as usual (I have to kind of hop/shuffle up and down). So our next work out will be strictly arms and some cardio. I have to give these legs a break or I feel like they might actually fall off. 🙂

If you have any questions about the meal plan or what food I’m eating, please feel free to ask away! I log EVERYTHING into the My Fitness Pal app.

Leave a comment on how your shedding the pounds too. 🙂

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The Day of Dread—D-Day

Have you ever felt so embarrassed and ashamed of your body that you wanted to run and hide? Well, that was me last night.

Last night I got my measurements and before pictures done. Last night, was the night I had been dreading ever since I signed up for Beach Body. I knew it was coming, and I knew it had to be done but the closer I got to D Day, the more that weight of dread grew deep in my belly.

How could I take a picture of THIS? This floppy, hanging, fat belly. How could I take a picture of THESE? These things my mom calls ‘Angel Wings’ but are also known as my back boobs and flabby arms. How could I take a picture of THOSE? My ginormous thighs that rub together with every step.

I know everyone who is overweight has asked themselves these questions.  “How could I have let myself get to this point? How did I get SO BIG?” or said to themselves “OH MY GOD, Im huge! I cant believe what you have done to yourself.”

As I stood in front of my best friend, my sister, my mom and my daughter to get my pictures taken, in nothing more than bike shorts and a bra, I felt shame and embarrassment radiating through me. But then, I looked at my daughter and thought, “I cant let her see me so upset about my body.” So I stood up straighter, and I smiled while I got those pictures taken.

These pictures are the first step on my journey. Whether I was ashamed to get them taken or not, I will be grateful for them eventually.

D-Day or The Day of Dread is finished and I did not break. I did not even crack. I will be OK.

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Sunday Prep Day!

The 30 day Beach Body Challenge begins tomorrow!

Part of the Challenge includes a professional meal plan. Im not really sure how I feel about this. Really, as a diabetic I KNOW how to eat healthy and to count calories and carbs. The reality IS that I over eat. I eat fruit and vegetables every day but it is the amount of them that I need to change. Sadly, I am seeing the same thing with my 7 year old daughter. It makes me feel like a horrible mother seeing her always want more more more food. Hopefully, as she sees me changing, it will be easier to get her to change as well.

So to get organized, in terms of food, I went to the grocery store to pick a few things up. Personally I am not following the plan exactly as put out. I am a type 1 diabetic, have been since I was 6 years old. So I found that the meal plan, for my needs as a diabetic, wasn’t going to work. So I am tweaking it as I see fit.

My meal plan for this week includes:

Breakfast
Berries and Greek yogurt (I already eat this for breakfast pretty much every day anyways)

Snack #1
Nachos
I cannot believe that this is actually an option as listed in the Beach Body meal plan.

Lunch
Teriyaki beef fajitas with peppers, onions, and mushrooms

Snack #2
Veggies and hummus
This was not an option in the Beach Body meal plan but I have to watch my carb count throughout the day. For me vegetables = no carbs and I only use use about 2 tbs of hummus.

Dinner
This is where it gets tricky. I eat whatever someone else (usually my mother) cooks for dinner, as I get home to late in the evening to prepare dinner for myself and my daughter.
I think as long as I watch my portion control carefully at dinner, and count my calories, I will do just fine.

The past few weeks I have perfected the art of preparing a week’s worth of lunches in one day. So after I returned home from the grocery store that is exactly what I did.

Sunday prep day
Sunday prep day
Strawberries has the lowest carb count out of all of the berry family.
Strawberries have the lowest carb count out of all of the berry family.
Strawberries and blueberries measure the same when counting carbohydrates. 1 c=1c
Strawberries and blueberries measure the same when counting carbohydrates. 1 c=1c
Prepped and ready to go <3
Prepped and ready to go ❤
Veggies prepped and ready to go <3
Veggies prepped and ready to go ❤

Now Im ready to take on the world!! 😀

Haha, well I guess I wouldn’t go that far, but I am prepared. I am prepared to eat healthy (and in smaller portions). I am prepared to begin this journey to a lighter, healthier me!

Do you meal prep ahead of time? Let me know, I want to hear from you 🙂

Not Journey-ing Alone

The original plan for my weight loss journey was to do everything myself. Plan alone, work out alone, succeed alone.

My Main B*TCH. Love this woman <3But what fun is that? :)

My best friend, or should I say my Main B*tch, as we so lovingly call each other, has decided to complete the 30 day challenge with me. I’m pretty pumped about this as she has been getting pretty down about her body ever since she had her son, 11 months ago.  I tell her daily that she looks amazing (because she Does!) but that is something that you have to believe about yourself before wpid-screenshot_2015-03-30-11-39-27.pngyou can really hear it from others.

So she IS IN. We are in this together. Hopefully to keep each other motivated and provide support for each other when we need it, and even when we don’t.

The only thing I am worried about is becoming dependent on her. I do not want that to happen. I have, in the past, gotten ready to loose weight with a friend and then if they do not want to go to the gym I don’t go either. If that friend eats a burger, well hell I might as well eat one too right? This will not happen to me this time. I have decided to do this on my own and I will do it whether I have company or not, whether I have a workout buddy or not. I need to do this for ME, not for anyone else.

I am determined. I am ready to do this for myself 🙂

I AM IN

I AM IN.

Those are the three words that have started the ball rolling in the game that will save my life.

Confused? I bet you are. But for me this is the first time I am seeing with clarity.

I am fat. Actually I believe the technical term is ‘Obese’ or even ‘Morbidly Obese’. I am 5′ 7″ and weigh 230 lbs. I have approximately 70 pounds to loose to be at the top of what a doctor considers a ‘healthy weight’ for me.

I am a confidant beautiful woman, do not get me wrong. I am happy with my life. I have an amazing family, great group of friends, and a crazy little girl who has stolen my heart. But I want more. I feel like I deserve more in this life than I am letting myself experience. That I am ABLE to experience because of how heavy I am.

I AM IN.

I AM IN is what I had to say to get in on a 30 day beach body challenge that my coach was offering, for free, to a select few.  The challenge starts Monday and I am terrified.

I am terrified but I am ready! I am ready to take back control of my life. I am ready to work my ass off (or my stomach to be more exact) and get healthy. I know that there is a long road of blood, sweat, and tears ahead of me. I know that it is going to be unbearably difficult and at times I am going to want to give up. But I am done with this life. I am done with saying no to playing with my daughter because I am to tired. Done with getting winded running up a few flights of stairs. Done making excuses.

This is me and….

I AM IN!

About Me

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog!

My name? Mom, Mommy, Mama, or Ashley. I am also known as a; confidante, chaser of bad dreams, kisser of boo boos, meanie, rule maker, rule enforcer, daughter, mother, sister, best friend…..you catch my drift.

I am an outspoken, kind hearted, strong woman. I have an amazing group of family and friends. I love my life and I love myself.

I love myself. That is why I am starting this blog. This blog is about my journey to getting fit. The hitch? I am a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman for those of you who don’t know what BBW means). I have about 80-90 lbs. to loose and it is not going anywhere fast. I have decided to change my life. It is going to be a big change. It will take a lot of time and commitment, but I know that I AM WORTH IT!

I am writing this blog to speak to the things that most people think, but are afraid to say. Hell I am afraid to say them myself! Nonetheless, my goal is to say them anyways.

I am writing this blog for inspiration. To inspire myself and hopefully I will be able to inspire others in the process.

I am also writing this blog so that one day I can look back and say WOW! Look where you were only 30 days ago; 6 months ago, 2 years ago. Look at all you have accomplished. Look at all you have to be proud of.

Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey that they call life.

Don’t worry. This is just the BEGINNING!

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