Have you ever felt so embarrassed and ashamed of your body that you wanted to run and hide? Well, that was me last night.
Last night I got my measurements and before pictures done. Last night, was the night I had been dreading ever since I signed up for Beach Body. I knew it was coming, and I knew it had to be done but the closer I got to D Day, the more that weight of dread grew deep in my belly.
How could I take a picture of THIS? This floppy, hanging, fat belly. How could I take a picture of THESE? These things my mom calls ‘Angel Wings’ but are also known as my back boobs and flabby arms. How could I take a picture of THOSE? My ginormous thighs that rub together with every step.
I know everyone who is overweight has asked themselves these questions. “How could I have let myself get to this point? How did I get SO BIG?” or said to themselves “OH MY GOD, Im huge! I cant believe what you have done to yourself.”
As I stood in front of my best friend, my sister, my mom and my daughter to get my pictures taken, in nothing more than bike shorts and a bra, I felt shame and embarrassment radiating through me. But then, I looked at my daughter and thought, “I cant let her see me so upset about my body.” So I stood up straighter, and I smiled while I got those pictures taken.
These pictures are the first step on my journey. Whether I was ashamed to get them taken or not, I will be grateful for them eventually.
D-Day or The Day of Dread is finished and I did not break. I did not even crack. I will be OK.