Please donate today

Good morning,

I am participating in the Big Bike Ride to support Heart and Stroke and could really use any help you are willing to give.

Normally I would never ask you for anything, but today I am asking for you to think of all the people in your life who have suffered from Heart attacks, stroke, heart disease etc. Those people in your life would not have gotten the care that they did without this organization. I know that personally a few people in my family and one of my very best friends would not be here today if it was not for this organization.

So now I am asking you to please donate today to my Big Bike Fundraiser for the Heart and Stroke Foundation. This foundation means a lot to me and my family. And of course, I am competitive so I want to raise as much money as I can. My company matches whatever donations we raise so if you give $1, it will actually be $2 etc.

If you are willing to make a donation, please click on the link below.

Thank you for your generosity.

http://support.heartandstroke.ca/site/TR/BigBike2015/BB_General_2015?px=1081352&pg=personal&fr_id=1560

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Bitch Fest…get ready for it.

Well yesterday was a bust!

First of all, yesterday was just an ordinary day. Nothing special happened, I wasnt sad or upset or anything like that. But yesterday I was hungry. I don’t think hungry is the correct word actually. RAVENOUS! Yes, ravenous would be more the correct term. All day I was ravenous, no matter what I ate, I just wanted to eat more.

And eat more was just what I did. I ate everything in sight! I ate my breakfast, my lunch, and what snacks I had by 10 am. I ate a second lunch (yes I know, that’s ridiculous) at 12:30, I was finished dinner by 5:30 and then the goodies were consumed by 8 pm. I cannot believe how much I ate. Nothing would satiate my hunger.

Its embarrassing to admit how much food, how many calories, I ate yesterday. BUT this is me being accountable. This does not happen often, so when it does happen I need to not feel THAT badly about it.

After my day-long binge fest I decided that I absolutely had to work out (obviously to burn off the massive amount of calories that I consumed), so I did the T25 Total Body Circuit. Have you told you yet how much I HATE TBC? Well I do, with a passion.

It’s not that I hate the video itself, it’s the fact that I cannot do at least half of the moves. And before you say it, I can’t even follow the modifier because I cannot do what she is doing either!

I have arthritis in my toe joints, of all places to have arthritis. This prohibits me from putting any weight on my toes while they are being pushed/bent upward/forward/towards my body. So basically, planks are out of the question and that’s what half of the video consists of. I can do the modified version of a plank, that is fine, but most of the plank moves involve moving your feet. Even the modifier is on her toes moving her feet! I just get so frustrated!

Last night, I got so frustrated that I cried. I cried because my feet hurt, because I couldn’t even begin to do the modified moves, because I knew how much my feet were going to hurt today from the cramping that came at 20 minutes in, and because I felt like it was useless to even bother.

But, after talking to my coach and getting some suggestions–like doing squats or something totally different while everyone is doing the planking exercises, or just not doing that video all together (doing a different video in its place)– I feel a bit better. I still feel like I hate that stupid TBC workout, but I feel like that’s not my only choice. I am still choosing getting healthy and working out, I just don’t have to do it by the book.  As long as I still do it and don’t give up.

Here is to not giving up 😀

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1 Week Down, 9 To Go!

wpid-20150519_214202.jpgWeek 1 is finished. On to week 2!

Thank goodness that first week is finished. It was killer after taking just over 2 weeks off in-between challenges. My advice: NEVER EVER take that much time off in between workouts and think you will be fine…you wont be. It felt like those workouts were the hardest workouts that I had ever done, and I had done pretty much all of them before in my last challenge.wpid-20150520_212316.png

Thankfully, I got through 4 of the 5 days of workouts. Yes that does mean that I skipped 2 of the 6 work outs that were required but you know what? That is OK. I am easing back into it. I definitely could not have completed all of the workouts. I had one day that I actually fell asleep before my 7-year-old while we were watching TV. I was in bed by 8 that night lol. I also had a very busy weekend. Life gets in the way, and that is OK.

This week I hope to be able to complete all of the workouts. I’m not making any promises, but for now I plan to do them all.

I am also still on track with my meals. Meal prep is the only way for me to be able to eat healthy and really watch what my calorie and carb intake. For now, my lunches consist of 1 salmon filet cooked on the barbecue in a foil packet, 8 asparagus spears, and about 3/4 cup of wild rice blend. I have 3 lunches made so twpid-20150519_120729.jpghat I can just throw it into my lunch pail the night before and its ready to go in the morning. For breakfasts I am still having greek yogurt and berries. If i’m really hungry I have a hard-boiled egg in there and 1/2 a cucumber cut up. I find that if I don’t pack my lunch or my snacks, I am starving and I go out to eat. Fridays I don’t usually bring a lunch though. That is my day to eat out. 😀

I will post some more of the workouts that I’ve been doing and how difficult or easy I am finding them as I go.

Thanks for reading 🙂

Back on the Band Wagon!

Ok, so I need to get pumped again. Ive been dragging my ass for the past 2 weeks and enough is enough.

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Monday Night Sweaty Selfie. T25 Cardio DONE!

Yesterday (Monday) was my first day of my new Beach Body Challenge.  It is a T25 specific challenge, but it is 10 weeks long and it features the entire program. I feel like I need these challenges to stay accountable. Without them, I just go off on my merry way and don’t force myself to work out. And right now, I literally have to force myself. I do not WANT to work out. It does not feel good or look good or make me feel all happy afterwards…no, it makes me kind of want to cry, or puke, or both. But guess what? I KNOW that I need to do this. I know that I will never get better, never loose this god forsaken weight unless I am giving it my all…and I am. I am now.

I am choosing (AGAIN) to do start this weight loss journey. Not that I ever actually stopped or gave up or anything, I just took a break that I shouldnt have. I figure, at least it wasnt a year long break like my last one, it was only 2 weeks. Next time, maybe it will only be 1 week, then no weeks.

This journey is for life. It is not a month, or wpid-20150519_082458.jpga year, or until I loose the amount of weight that I want to loose. It will become my way of life. It just takes time to form habits. Look how long I was eating like crap and not working out. It is going to take time to form this healthy lifestyle. Im not promising myself that I will EVER love to workout, or love eating fruit and yogurt for breakfast instead of eating a breakfast sandwhich from McDonalds….what I am promising myself is that it will be worth it.

Type 1—Part 2 + a general update

Im trying to get back on the band wagon to being accountable. Ive really let myself slip these past few weeks. I have barely worked out, I’ve been eating almost whatever I want (still counting calories and carbs but not being as strict as I had been), and I have had no motivation to continue doing either of those things.

So making myself be accountable I will tell you:

Living with Type 1 Diabetes my whole life you would think that I would know how to take care of myself. Yet, here I am! Nearly 90 pounds over weight, no idea how to combat my non-existant weight loss, my post workout low blood sugars and my need to do better.  Living with T1 Diabetes is difficult, but it is even more difficult when trying to loose weight and not seeing any results.

The biggest issue I am having with my diabetes vs working out is that my blood sugar drops so low. Either during, right at the end, or 5-7 hours after my workout (which usually puts me in the middle of the night) my blood sugar drops severely. This means taking/eating something that will bring my blood sugars back up. For me, this usually means a binge of some sort.

When I am that low, I eat until I can no longer eat anything else. This could mean 2 bowls of cereal, this could mean a pudding, granola bar, apple and juice, this could mean anything that is easily accessible and easy for me to open. When your blood sugar is low it is the most awful feeling in the world. Its not painful but you feel so weak and helpless that you will do anything to make that feeling go away. So I eat until my hands are no longer shaking uncontrollably, my eyes are no longer unfocused, my body no longer feels like it has lead in it, my brain starts working properly, and I am no longer sweating profusely.

Blood sugar and work outs are like enemies. You need to work out and eat correctly in order to maintain a good blood sugar, but then I work out and my blood sugar says FUCK YOU! It drops and then I eat a million calories and its like a viscous cycle. “Oh, you ate a million calories last night, you better work it off today so that you can eat a million more calories tonight and continue doing it until you give up” Thats how I feel my body is working against me right now.

Stupid body.

A change is needed on my part. So, tonight marks the night that I am going to get my ass BACK up and get back to my workouts. I have some insightful ideas from my doctor as to how to combat my lows, but she said to anticipate that they will still happen. Which sucks, but I need to do this. I’ve started feeling grumpy again and out of control so that just will not do! If nothing else, working out helps me to stabilize my mood and gives me more energy. And I definitely need that right now.

This is what I was eating for my lunches and snacks (post workout). I need to get back to this! My body needs this. I need this.

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Back to the grind I go! Its still just the beginning.

Type 1- Part 1

Confession: I am a Type 1 Diabetic.

For those of you who do not know the different between Type 1 and Type 2 diabetes—and trust me most of you dont even if you think you do—Type 2 is the kind of diabetes that can be controlled with diet, excersize, sometimes medications are added if you cannot control your diet or excersize. Type 2 is USUALLY weight related or age related or a mix of both. Type 1 (the kind that I have been blessed with) is an auto-immune disease where my body decided one day to attack itself, specifically my pancreas, and shut down my ability to produce any insulin what-so-ever. Type 1 is not caused by being overweight, or from eating to much sugary foods. Type 1 and Type 2 are often confused as many people are not even aware that there are more than 1 type.

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A little background:

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes when I was 6 years old (I still cant believe that I have had diabetes for 21 years!). I was on multiple insulin injections every day, had to watch my diet carefully and was always sick in someway or another. On injections, I was in the hospital 1-2 times a month because of bad blood sugars.

When I was 15 I was given the chance to get an insulin pump. This was the best thing that could ever happen to me as it helped keep my blood sugars under control and I was never hospitalized for my diabetes again.The pump allowed me to live like a normal human being, but since I had always watched what I ate so closely and been so restricted before, I started gaining a lot of weight being able to eat whatever I wanted.

I was young and stupid and am paying the price for those binge sessions now. But imagine going from eating whatever a 6 year old eats (loving candy and chocolate etc) to being restricted. Literally not being able to eat any of those things for years after you already know what they taste like. You know what your missing and you are a kid who just wants to have a damn chocolate bar. Now imagine you go from really not being able to have any of those amazing tasting treats (yes sometimes I had a piece here and there shh..) to being told its fine if you eat them now….ugh DUH! I ate the shit out of that food. I ate everything that was restricted in my diet. That is where my weight struggles began.

I have definitely changed my eating habits now and am watching my diabetes so much more closely. I have been since my daughter was born 7 years ago (the birth of a child will do that to a person lol). I dont often binge and I eat food that is so much better for me, and makes me feel better too. Although I DO NOT deny myself the simple pleasures that food brings to my life, I enjoy those pleasures a little more carefully and with a little bit more moderation than I did when I was a teenager set free to eat what I wanted.

Sometimes though, I get people who make assumptions, or follow stereotypes about diabetes. Often someone (a laymen of sorts) talks to me about my diabetes and they make comments like ‘thats the bad kind right?’. I also get comments like ‘stop eating so much sweets then’ or ‘well once you loose the weight you will be fine’, when in reality this has nothing to do with my diabetes. Yes, my blood sugars will get BETTER as I loose weight but my diabetes will NEVER go away.

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No matter how healthy I eat, how much weight I lose, how active I am, my Type 1 Diabetes will never go away. Actually having Type 1 diabetes makes losing weight so much harder than those who do not have it.  The life saving insulin that I have to take everyday, all day, actually helps me to gain weight quite quickly and makes losing said weight nearly impossible. Isn’t that nice of it? lol

Anyways, I just wanted to shed some light on an issue that I deal with personally. This is Part 1, as I have so much information and did not want to make my post excruciatingly long 🙂 I am so thoughtful that way. Part 2 is mostly about the issues that I have while working out and eating with Type 1 Diabetes.

Thanks for reading. Don’t be afraid to comment below for any experiences you have had with stereo types or even some funny stories.