Type 1—Part 2 + a general update

Im trying to get back on the band wagon to being accountable. Ive really let myself slip these past few weeks. I have barely worked out, I’ve been eating almost whatever I want (still counting calories and carbs but not being as strict as I had been), and I have had no motivation to continue doing either of those things.

So making myself be accountable I will tell you:

Living with Type 1 Diabetes my whole life you would think that I would know how to take care of myself. Yet, here I am! Nearly 90 pounds over weight, no idea how to combat my non-existant weight loss, my post workout low blood sugars and my need to do better.  Living with T1 Diabetes is difficult, but it is even more difficult when trying to loose weight and not seeing any results.

The biggest issue I am having with my diabetes vs working out is that my blood sugar drops so low. Either during, right at the end, or 5-7 hours after my workout (which usually puts me in the middle of the night) my blood sugar drops severely. This means taking/eating something that will bring my blood sugars back up. For me, this usually means a binge of some sort.

When I am that low, I eat until I can no longer eat anything else. This could mean 2 bowls of cereal, this could mean a pudding, granola bar, apple and juice, this could mean anything that is easily accessible and easy for me to open. When your blood sugar is low it is the most awful feeling in the world. Its not painful but you feel so weak and helpless that you will do anything to make that feeling go away. So I eat until my hands are no longer shaking uncontrollably, my eyes are no longer unfocused, my body no longer feels like it has lead in it, my brain starts working properly, and I am no longer sweating profusely.

Blood sugar and work outs are like enemies. You need to work out and eat correctly in order to maintain a good blood sugar, but then I work out and my blood sugar says FUCK YOU! It drops and then I eat a million calories and its like a viscous cycle. “Oh, you ate a million calories last night, you better work it off today so that you can eat a million more calories tonight and continue doing it until you give up” Thats how I feel my body is working against me right now.

Stupid body.

A change is needed on my part. So, tonight marks the night that I am going to get my ass BACK up and get back to my workouts. I have some insightful ideas from my doctor as to how to combat my lows, but she said to anticipate that they will still happen. Which sucks, but I need to do this. I’ve started feeling grumpy again and out of control so that just will not do! If nothing else, working out helps me to stabilize my mood and gives me more energy. And I definitely need that right now.

This is what I was eating for my lunches and snacks (post workout). I need to get back to this! My body needs this. I need this.

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Back to the grind I go! Its still just the beginning.

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