Recently, a good friend of mine told me that I need to start writing again. My life has been flipped upside down and I just don’t know which way is up anymore. So with her great advice of “it will help you” here I am, beginning over.
This post, or even the rest of my blog, may not be about ‘fitness’ or getting healthy or anything in particular. I am just going to write what I need to write, for myself. If it inspires people, cool. If it doesn’t and everyone hates it, that’s cool too.
Newest update on my life?
My daughter is 11. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder.
We got a pupper that I am training to be her service doggo.
My mom is dying, quickly. She was diagnosed with ALS a few months ago. They do not think she will stay with us very much longer.
I am taking a leave of absence from my job to take care of her.
I am not working out. Or eating right. And I don’t care at this moment in my life.
I’m bitter and resentful and completely lost in life.
Just an FYI: This does not have much to do about working out or weight loss or anything like that.
So I am panicking. 100% out of my mind, knot in the pit of my stomach, sweaty palms, cannot concentrate. Why you ask? Because I have 4 days left before I am done at my current job and 8 days until I start a brand new one.
I have been at my job for just shy of 3 years. I love my work family (most of them anyways), and this job is so comfortable. But that’s the problem isn’t it? When we get too comfortable we loose sight of what we wanted out of our careers and out of our lives in general. This job was getting stagnant, so I went out searching and found an amazing opportunity. One that will put me into a more prominent role, as well as, get my creative juices flowing.
I’m ecstatic….but that means leaving this cushy, comfortable job behind that I have worked so hard for the past 3 years. I’m panicking because I know I have SO MUCH work to do before I’m finished, so many loose ends to tie up. I’m panicking because I am going to miss the friends that I have made here. I’m panicking because I start a whole new type of journey in less than 8 days and what if I fail miserably?
I can feel the bile rising in my throat, the knot in my stomach grow just a little tighter at the thought of being finished and starting over somewhere new. The anxiety of walking into a new office with very unfamiliar faces looking at me thinking, “whos the new girl?”.
I am pretty easy going, so I pray that I can get along with everyone just like I did here (at my, now, old job). I pray that I am the right fit for the position like they (my new employers) said that I am. I did originally feel like I was the perfect fit for the job, and that they job was made for me, but now that its mine…Im freaking out lol. I pray that I am good at my new job, please let me be great at it, and successful and love what I do (eventually). I pray that I do not fail. Please God don’t let me fail.