Christmas Just Wasn’t The Same

My mom was diagnosed with ALS. She is dying, and I am her main caregiver, along with my dad and sister.

This story is hers to tell but she can no longer do that. ALS is taking everything she has, including her voice.  So I am giving everything I have to her. I may at times sound selfish but the reality is that she gets everything I have and nothing is left over at the end of the day. This story is hers to tell but I’m going to tell it instead.

In mid November 2018 (less than a year before this post) my mom got sick. She came down with a high fever and weakness all over her body. Cold sweats, freezing but hot to the touch, couldn’t stand on her own, couldn’t keep her balance. She stuck it out and felt better after a day or 2 in bed.

1-2 weeks later my mom got sick again. The same kind of sick but worse than the first time. After a day of this fever, we brought her to the hospital because she could not stand or walk on her own. They diagnosed her with a severe bladder infection and possible lung infection.

After some meds, she felt better but her left leg was still weak and she would lose her balance often. She got tests on her lungs and bladder and all came back well and good after antibiotics.

A month or so goes by and the weakness in her leg and her balance kept getting worse but she pushed through. She was such a champ. We went on with life as usual. Hanging out, playing with our new pupper, Christmas was around the corner! But the Christmas spirit just wasn’t there for our family. We knew something was very wrong.

We couldn’t muster the energy or spirit to decorate, bake our traditional Christmas cookies, or even get my mom to go shopping. These were my mom’s usual things to do at Christmas. She loved this time of year and would set up our Christmas tree with lights and we would all decorate it together, she would put silly decorations everywhere, and get the lights and scenes put up outside. Every year of my life, we have decorated the Christmas tree as a family. That didn’t happen this past Christmas.

I put the tree up myself, strung the lights myself, and helped my daughter to decorate the tree just her and I. I didn’t put up my Christmas village, or extra lights outside. I didn’t wrap the banisters with ribbon or tinsel or bulbs. I didn’t put our wreaths on the doors or Santa pictures on the walls. I didn’t put the star on top of the tree. I didn’t put THE STAR ON TOP OF THE TREE!

Something was wrong but we didn’t know what. By early to mid December my mom’s leg was beginning to drag just a little bit and she was dizzy often. She said it felt like her leg was just not connected to her body, it just wouldn’t listen to what her brain told it to do. She would hold on to things if she needed steadying, but you could tell the dizziness made her tired. The doctors were convinced that she had vertigo. A really bad case of it, but vertigo none the less.

Let me tell you, that vertigo is no where near what was wrong with my mom. But it would take us another 6 months, lots of fighting with doctors, a 3 month hospital stay, and time away from our family, to find out exactly what was happening with our mother.

(to be continued)

 

Advertisements

Its Been a Minute

Hello WordPress world!!

Wow it’s been a minute.

Recently, a good friend of mine told me that I need to start writing again. My life has been flipped upside down and I just don’t know which way is up anymore. So with her great advice of “it will help you” here I am, beginning over.

This post, or even the rest of my blog, may not be about ‘fitness’ or getting healthy or anything in particular. I am just going to write what I need to write, for myself. If it inspires people, cool. If it doesn’t and everyone hates it, that’s cool too.

Newest update on my life?

My daughter is 11. She has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder.

We got a pupper that I am training to be her service doggo.

My mom is dying, quickly. She was diagnosed with ALS a few months ago. They do not think she will stay with us very much longer.

I am taking a leave of absence from my job to take care of her.

I am not working out. Or eating right. And I don’t care at this moment in my life.

I’m bitter and resentful and completely lost in life.

I am still me.

Re-United And It Feels So Good!

Reunited and it feels so good!

Taking a week off of Zumba was the worst decision EVER!

Due to unforseeable circumstances, both nights of our Zumba class got cancelled last week. I took full advantage of this, especially considering that my lady business had started and I was feeling like crap. So I lounged around (except for getting all of my steps the night of Halloween), I did little to no excersize…AKA I did NOTHING! I went to work and then came home and sat on my ass! lol

Getting back to it last night was so difficult. Even after just 1 week; I couldnt catch my breath, my muscles spasmed half way through class, and I was totally beat by the end. But man was I proud of myself.

Even though I felt like the class was harder (due to having the week before off and taking FULL advantage of it) I kicked ASS. I got through ENTIRE songs that I have never been able to get through before. I did moves, jumps, kicks that I am not ALWAYS able to do. I performed at a level that I never have before. I’m not sure WHY but damn did it feel good!

It doesn’t feel so great today but I kind of love that burn. It means I worked hard and I will have something to show for it.

Zumba is honestly my saving grace. What is yours?

Meal Prep Monday- Our New Breakfast FAVE!

 

 

 

Our new breakfast favourite

I know that I have already posted many breakfast recipes but I just cant help it! Breakfast is my absolute favourite, especially when it is something warm and flavourful. MMM.

So I have a new breakfast favourite and wouldn’t you know it…my daughter LOVES them too. Like refuses to eat anything else (I think I may have created a breakfast monster).

Instead of just plain hard boiled eggs or even egg muffins or peanut butter melba toast that I have been eating previously, I decided to make Lentil and Egg Breakfast Burritos. They are SO versatile, can be made with healthy alternatives and WHO doesn’t love a burrito of any kind?? The lentils add the extra protein that you need and will keep you full and it covers that craving for meat and that I get at breakfast time.

Another reason that I love these Breakfast Burritos is that you can freeze them! This makes it easy to grab them out of the freezer the night before and they are ready for you in the morning. Grab N Go! I made a big batch so we are good to go all week, into next week.

I have made them twice now and I will include both variations just for an idea of how to change it up!

Ingredients:

wp-1477428162061.jpg
This is only about 1/4 of the burrito left after I started eating it lol

 

  • 8 12” Tortillas OR 12 6” tortillas (I used whole wheat)
  • 10 eggs
  • 1tsp oregano
  • 1 red bell pepper, chopped small
  • 1 onion, chopped small
  • 1 zucchinni, chopped small
  • 1 cup lentils uncooked or about 2 cups lentils cooked
  • 1tsp Olive oil
  • S&P to taste

Directions:

  1. Cook 1 cup of lentils (follow package directions) or use canned.
  2. Let lentils cool.
  3. Heat olive oil in a non-stick frying pan over medium high heat.
  4. Cook onion until starting to turn translucent, about 3 minutes.
  5. Add your pepper and zucchini and cook until soft, about 5 minutes (this is where you could use your variations).
  6. While your veggies cook, scramble your eggs and oregano. Normally you would add water or milk to scramble eggs but I don’t because I find it gets too watery when you re-heat your burrito later.
  7. Once veggies are cooked, add in your scrambled eggs AND lentils
  8. Scramble until eggs are cooked through. I sometimes will use a lid if the eggs are not cooking as quickly as I would like.
  9. Once everything is finished cooking let it all cool. Shred your cheese while you wait.

Building Your Burritos

  1. Lay out your tortillas
  2. Place about 3-4 rounded table spoons of egg mixture onto the tortilla
  3. Add a pinch of cheese
  4. Roll them up. I use the fold two sides in, then fold down the top and fold the bottom up. But whatever works best for you so that all of your ‘stuff’ stays INSIDE the burrito.
  5. Wrap them with saran wrap and either put them in the fridge or (if you won’t be eating them all right away) put them ALL in a Ziploc freezer bag and put them in the freezer.
  6. Take a frozen burrito out the day before you want it or you can heat from frozen. I usually do about 30 seconds per side for my thawed burritos, add an extra 30ish seconds for a frozen one!

Variations I have used besides this recipe include: red peppers and mushrooms with cheddar and feta cheese, spinach and mushroom with mozzarella cheese. Throw in whatever veggies you love to eat and I am sure it will be good!

Let me know if you try this and what you think. Or if you have any tried and true meal prep recipes that can be FROZEN let me know that too!

I Ate a Cookie for Breakfast Because Adulting Is Hard

I ate a cookie for breakfast because adulting is hard.

Well folks, I have been adulting for some time now (about 9 years to be exact) and it’s really NOT all it’s cracked up to be. Actually it totally sucks if I am being honest.

Ahh the memories of when life was easy. Not a care in the world. I didn’t have someone else to think about or take care of. It was all about me! Sometimes I wish I could just have a day with no responsibilities. Be able to lay on the couch and watch the new line up of T.G.I.F. and not hear ‘mom could you get me a drink’ or feel the nagging of the dreaded TO DO LIST in the back of my brain. I’d love to be able to eat a pizza and ice cream and not have to worry about it going straight to my ASS or affecting my blood sugar. I would love to get up in the morning and get MYSELF ready and all dolled up and not be worrying about packing lunches and brushing little people’s hair and the melt downs that will come when *God Forbid* you cannot find the shoes that match her shirt!!

Adulting sucks. Along with adulting (at least for me) comes meal prepping  and this past weekend was a shit show of meal prepping madness. While having a chat with a girlfriend of mine I made the comment that meal prepping sucked. Her response? BLOG ABOUT IT! KEEP IT REAL! So that’s what I am doing.

Meal prepping SUCKS. Don’t get me wrong, I love the after effects of a good meal prep; the grab and go lunches, no time spent during the week getting things cut or put together. But that is not to say that meal prepping is easy. It is expensive and time consuming. As a single mom I try to spend most of my free time (which is not very much) with my daughter. Especially doing exciting things or going on special outings on the weekend. This does not leave a whole lot of time to get my grocery shopping AND a full meal prep done. Not to mention how bloody expensive healthy food costs! It is insane.

wp-1476796344735.jpg
This is WAY better than meal prepping ❤            Corn mazes in the rain ❤

This weekend was no exception. Its fall and with that comes a fun family outing of going apple picking and walking through corn mazes and haunted houses. With all the fun comes the dreaded ‘responsibility’ *blech!*. I know balance is key but honestly its hard. Grocery shopping, cooking 3 separate meals (2 meal preps and 1 dinner for the fam jam), and then chopping veggies and fruit and putting everything together…IT TAKES HOURS.

 

*GASP* ‘You mean to tell me that you can’t take a few hours out of a Sunday afternoon to meal prep?’ *GASP*

Obviously I CAN and I DID, but that doesn’t mean I can’t bitch about it in the process lol And do you know what all that meal prepping got me? It got me forgetting my healthy breakfast burrito at home and eating a damn chocolate chip cookie in its place! And you know what? FUCK IT. I don’t even care because I love me some chocolate chip cookies for breakfast LOL

Chocolate chip cookies and coffee? There is NO BETTER PAIR. YUMMO!

I will post my ACTUAL meal prep recipes soon because well..they are the BOMB-DOT-COM. But for now…this is your safe place! Please feel free to bitch or share (as the adults call it) about your meal prep, workout, or adulting stories/dilemmas/issues/likes/dislikes. Have at it! Let me hear it!

Meal Prep Monday-Chicken Fajita Bowls

wp-1473704957978.jpgOk I know its Tuesday BUT I was busy yesterday so you get this post today instead!

I LOVE Buddah Bowls…or anything that can be mixed into a big bowl of goodness. That is what inspired this dish and my Meal Prep for this week and let me tell you…these were AMAZING! I actually did NOT get sick of eating this AND I was sad when I had eaten them all. That’s saying something after eating them for 4 days in a row haha.

For breakfast I had 1 package of melba toasts with 2tbs of peanut butter spread between them and a piece of fruit, usually an apple or orange. The melba toast and peanut butter gave me the carb and protein that I need and the fruit is great for giving me a little more fiber and carb as well as balancing my meal and keeping me full longer. For lunch I had my Chicken Fajita Buddah bowls.

wp-1473704957999.jpg
I had enough fixins left over for another bowl (minus the chicken) so I added 1/2 an avacado instead. YUMMO!

Ingredients:

  • 3 boneless-skinless chicken breasts
  • 1tsp Mrs. Dash Southwest seasoning
  • 1 jar salsa (I like mild but you can use whatever you want)
  • 1 LARGE red onion sliced in skinny strips
  • 2 bell peppers sliced in skinny strips
  • 3 cups (uncooked) Tru Roots Sprouted Rice and Quinoa blend
  • 1 cup frozen corn
  • Shredded cheddar cheese
  • Cilantro
  • Salt and Pepper
  • Cooking spray
  • 4 bowls or containers that can be put into the microwave to re-heat!

Instructions:

  1. Pre-heat oven to 400F or 200C
  2. Spray sheet pan with cooking spray and lay the chicken breast in the middle with the sliced peppers on one side and the onion on the other
  3. Sprinkle Mrs. Dash Southwest seasoning on both sides of chicken (add any other spices you may want) and salt and pepper on everything, including peppers and onion.
  4. Pour salsa, evenly, over the chicken breasts.
  5. Bake in the oven until the chicken is cooked through (about 25 minutes).
  6. While the chicken cooks, make your quinoa blend by following the directions on the package.
  7. Once everything is cooked start layering all of the items together in containers!
  8. To layer I start with my quinoa blend (1 cup) in each of the 4 bowls.
  9. Put ¼ cup of corn into each bowl on top of the quinoa.
  10. Divide peppers and onions evenly between the bowls and put them beside the corn.
  11. Then I slice up my chicken and divide that into the bowls.
  12. Top with a pinch of cheddar cheese and cilantro (optional).

These will keep for 4-5 days in the refrigerator so stack them up and grab 1 on your way out the door!

I feel like this looks like a lot of steps but I promise its not and it is SUPER easy! Like the easiest recipe I have made while meal prepping! Only 1 pan and 1 pot are used to make the WHOLE THING! You cannot beat that lol

wp-1473704957997.jpg
Finished product!!

Are you doing any awesome meal preps? Please share! I am always looking for new ideas 🙂

Meal Prep Monday! Egg Cups and Tilapia Recipes

WOAH! I have been slacking on my meal prep blogging lately.

Even though the blog has been lacking that does not mean my meal prep game is not on fleek! Because it is and has been since I started cracking the whip 2 weeks ago.

My goals the past few weeks, in terms of my diet, are to decrease my carb (starch) intake and increase my protein intake. Easier said than done because, lets face it, I LOVE me some CARBS. Bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, CHIPS, all the starchy goodness lol BUT I need to cut back on them (not eliminate them completely) so that I can put less insulin into my body and HOPEFULLY lose some damn weight!

I am back to my Zumba classes twice a week and with my Fit with Type 1 Diabetes challenge I also have 2 other nights that I work out as well. Maybe this will be exactly what my body needs to kick start this weight loss that I so desperately need.

wp-1474052978336.jpgMy breakfast last week was ham and egg cups. These were SO good and kept me full all the way to lunch. I ate them with melba toasts as my starch as they are a great lower carb option.

For the ham and egg cups I placed slices of ham into muffin tins, pushing them in so that they were at the bottom of the tin and right up against the sides like a cup. Once the ham was in, I added some chopped mushrooms and cracked an egg into each muffin hole. I sprinkled the tops with salt and pepper and green onion, then I baked them at 325F for about 20 minutes or until the eggs were set. Once they were completely cooled I stored them in an airtight container in the fridge. Each morning I would grab 2-3 and pop them in the microwave for about 30 seconds and ate them warm because we all know I love a hot breakfast!

My lunch last week was tilapia with Brussel sprouts/yellow squash and PC brand quinoa, corn and black bean blend (yes from the frozen food isle).

wp-1473187222150.jpgI put the tilapia in tin-foil with olive oil, lemon juice and salt and pepper and put it on the barbecue for about 20 minutes. It was delicious.

The Brussel sprouts and squash were steamed and then mixed in with PC brand quinoa corn and black bean blend.

wp-1473187222151.jpg

The quinoa blend was a little bit spicy all by itself BUT onces the Brussel sprouts were added in, it was perfect. Quinoa is a great carb choice as it has a lot of nutrients and is considered a ‘good’ carb. It is a great replacement for white rice or pasta.

My snacks consisted of cut up oranges, nectarines, and cucumber with a mini babybell cheese!

There you have it. My first week back to meal prepping and I didn’t do too shabby (even if I do say so myself). I have saved money by not going out to eat WHILE eating a much healthier diet. I still eat out once a week but that’s ok. It is my treat to myself ❤

 

 

Step Goal Schmep Goal

Finally some good news… I hit my 10,000 step goal 3 days in a row this weekend. I even surpassed it on Saturday getting in a whopping 13,266 steps! WOOHOO

Now to get real. Talking to a girlfriend yesterday I told her that I felt like 10,000 steps is really unrealistic for me. It will take me hours after work to get these steps in…hours that I honestly do not have at the moment. So she suggested maybe a smaller goal to start off with instead of such a big one that I don’t feel great about. So that is exactly what I am going to do. I will start a little smaller and once I am hitting that goal on a regular basis THEN I will up the goal again until I reach the final goal of 10,000 steps. Does that make sense?

Trying to hit that 10,000 step goal has stressed me out every day and made me feel like a failure. And feeling like a failure is not something I do well.

On a normal day I reach an average of 4,000-5,000 (at the MOST) steps. I am changing my goal to 6,000 steps every day this week. I think that this is a little more realistic for me and hopefully will help me to accomplish something and start getting back into the grind. I need to be doing things that make me food GOOD about myself and not think negatively. I definitely think this will push me in the right direction. Plus..the turtle won the race didn’t he? Lol

I did get back on the Meal Prepping wagon this week and killed it with my lunches and snacks. I also got all the meal prepping done for my daughter’s lunches too, as she heads back to school on her first day of Grade 4 this morning. My meal prep included lower carb and higher protein lunches and breakfasts but I will do another post on that soon!

I also joined a new challenge group! If you have read my blog before, then you know how much I love a good challenge group :D. This challenge group is a bit different than the others though. It’s different because while it is a fitness based challenge group, it is aactually a group that is only for diabetics. Specifically Type 1 Diabetics like ME!

This is amazing because there are NO other groups like this. It is focused on helping you figure out how your body and blood sugars react to certain workouts and how to deal with them so that you can complete a really GOOD workout without worrying as much about blood sugar crashes or spikes. They post workouts 3 days a week and have really great healthy recipes that I will definitely be trying. They have diabetes related challenges every day as well.

I am feeling really excited about this, as well as conquering my meal prep this week, so I would say that I am on the road to success! Even if that road has a few bumps or turns that I have to navigate.

P.S.

We got to have a little fun this long weekend as well. Spent some time riding all the crazy rides at our hometown fair ❤ She loves her carnival rides…me? not so much lol

 

Step Goals-EPIC FAIL

 Alright I am just going to be honest here. I have NOT been achieving my goals this week.

I am definitely getting more steps each day than I have been previously but not getting anywhere near my 10,000 step goal. I am telling you because I thought I needed to be honest with myself. I thought I needed to be honest with YOU (whoever actually reads this).

This shit is hard.

I walked at lunch the first 2 days of this week and I STILL hurt. My thighs and calves KILL. Which is awful because, while we did go at a very fast pace, we only went for 30 minutes each time! My muscles should NOT get this tired this quickly. Cant even believe it.

I have walked 2 out of 4 days at lunch. Appointments kept me from getting those other two lunch time walking dates in. By the time I get home its dinner, laundry, lunches, kid in bed and then I am exhausted and go to bed. I literally fell asleep IN my daughter’s bed with her last night at 9PM. I am one tired momma!

Trying to get up more often from my desk and move around is also proving difficult in my line of work. Fielding calls every few minutes, inbetween the constant berating of emails and meetings. It gets crazy! I know…I need to just get it done! I need to just make it a point to get up and go for a 5 minute walk EVERY HOUR. I need to stop making excuses.

I am planning on getting my goals for the rest of the week. Tonight (Thursday) we are headed to the fair which requires TONS of walking, same with tomorrow. Saturday we are walking and DANCING in a parade which will be 5K+ so I will definitely get my 10,000 steps in that day. Sunday is grocery shopping and meal prepping so who knows if I will actually hit my 10,000 step goal but I will be trying!

I am not giving up! I need this routine in my life. Maybe then I will feel that drive to work out that I have missed so much. As for right now…I still don’t feel it L That’s one thing that I really do miss. That CRAVE you get to sweat and breathe heavy…I need to feel that want and I need to feel it now!

wp-1472758085551.jpg
Me after my first 30 minute walk during lunch. My legs didnt hurt then but they do now!

 

 

Meal Prep-Breakfast Time!

What do you eat for breakfast?

We all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I am a savoury kind of girl so I love bacon and eggs. Or an omelette with sausage and mushrooms.

I was never one for breakfast. Even being diabetic I would adjust my insulin so that I didn’t have to eat it. It made my stomach hurt or feel sick if I ate but, knowing how important breakfast was, I tried to find a way to eat it anyways. What I realized was that if I wait until about 2 hours after I wake up, I can eat and not feel crappy and I am full for most of the morning.

Now I find that, without breakfast, I don’t have the fuel to get through the first half of the day. OR if I eat CRAP for breakfast I am starving before lunch is even close to being a possibility. By 10am I will be hungry and craving something like nobody’s business!

My solution for the past few months has been this:wp-1472066120256.jpg

Greek Yogurt Parfait

  • ½ cup Vanilla Oikos greek yogurt
  • 1 tbs Vanilla protein powder
  • ½ cup Welch’s frozen strawberry/blueberry mix
  • ¼ cup Oats and Honey, Nature Valley Protein Granola

Mix the yogurt and the protein powder together FIRST. Once smooth, add in the rest of the ingredients. Also, you can use any frozen OR fresh fruit that you like.

Don’t get me wrong, its actually REALLY good. Its packed FULL of protein, low in carbs (35 in total), and low in calories. It keeps me full ALL morning and I don’t even contemplate snacking. The issue that I have started to find with this is…someone can only eat Greek yogurt SO MANY days in a row before they get sick of it! I am totally Greek yogurt’d out! 

Being so sick of this Greek yogurt breakfast I have been having, I decided to change it up. For me, breakfast has to be something I can either grab and go or can be put together at my desk. That being said I went ahead and made THIS:wp-1472068938369.jpg

Zucchini and Leek Frittata with Bacon

  • 8 eggs scrambled(I ate this for 3 separate meals)
  • 1 small zucchini
  • 1 small leek
  • 3 strips of bacon, already cooked

wp-1472068938368.jpgCook up the zucchini in a frying pan with a little bit of EVOO. Once the zucchini is browned a bit, throw in the leek and cook for another minute. Once the leek has started to get really fragrant, throw in the cooked bacon and then the scrambled eggs. I like to scrape the bottom of the pan a bit when the eggs first get in there. This makes sure that the eggs cook a little more even. Throw the whole thing in the oven on 350F, or even just a LOW broil, until the top of the eggs have set.

My daughter and I both had a bit for snack the night that I made it, and they served as my breakfast for 2 days with melba toasts on the side. I separated them into separate containers and just tossed them into the microwave for a minute or two when I was ready to eat them. They were SO good and totally helped by giving me a healthy break from my usual breakfast and giving me that savouriness that I crave!

So, what do you eat for breakfast? Do you have any awesome breakfast meal prep recipes? I NEED MORE. Leave me a comment and let me know!