It was quiet in our house Christmas morning. We opened presents and loved on each other more than ever. For New Years we went to my aunt and uncles for a few nights. My mom could barely make it up their stairs to bed at night. We had to help her walk from room to room by letting her hold our arm for support.
Christmas 2018 came and went. And with it, any good feelings we had of mom possibly getting better without intervention.
We saw doctor after doctor. Specialist upon specialist. The neurologists are where we stopped. 3 neurologists in fact.
First were tests. So many tests.
And then possible diagnosis after possible diagnosis. Everyone was sure it was MS. “Definitely MS” the doctors said, but the tests confirmed it was NOT MS. Then it was clearly brain cancer. Then “It has to be cancer hiding somewhere in your body” all of the doctors were sure. But all of the tests confirmed it was NOT cancer of any kind. Then it was an autoimmune disease, then definitely Lyme disease, then definitely an infection in your brain, definitely, definitely, definitely.
I knew what is was. I am not a doctor. Or anyone in the medical field. But I KNEW.
I asked both neurologists “could this possibly be ALS?”. The answer was always no. “No way, ALS is not this rapid. This is not what ALS looks like. This is not ALS”.
No pain no gain. That’s what ‘they’ say right? Well I am definitely feeling the pain today.
Last week I went to Zumba and nailed it, but as for getting to the gym I only made it there once. So I felt like, while I ate great and stuck to my meal plan for the week, I was really slacking in the workout department. I didn’t have the motivation to go by myself, I went to bed early most of the nights instead of heading to the gym and was just lazy. But I started this week off much better and I am feeling pumped!
I spent the better part of an hour at the gym last night. This is the very first time I have gone to the gym by myself in years. If you know me, or have read my previous blogs, then you know that this is huge for me. As I stepped out of my car I could feel the familiar tightening in my chest. The dreaded panic attack. It’s so bizarre. I can walk into the gym without feeling like this when I am walking in with a friend or my sister, but the second I try to walk in by myself it shows its ugly head. It took me a few minutes to get out of the car and put my feet in motion but once I got started I didn’t let myself stop until I was on the treadmill to warm up! Once in and working I am ok, no panic. It’s just the getting there that trips me up.
I am happy to report that I killed it at the gym last night, all by myself 😀 . I did cardio for 15 minutes, a deep stretch, upper body workout including weights (Im only comfortable lifting around 5 lbs with free weights but I’ll get up there eventually lol), and then I finished up with 10 more minutes of cardio. I felt like I really worked hard, gave it my all and didn’t slack, which I find happens when you aren’t working out with a partner. This really was a great workout and I definitely feel it in my shoulders biceps today.
Meal prep yesterday went really great as well. I will give you a summary as usual, and later this week I will be posting a recipe because honestly, my lunch today was delicious and I cannot wait to eat it again tomorrow!
Breakfast:165 calories, 22 carbs
1/4cup of cottage cheese
4-5 mini cherry or grape tomatoes
COFFEE (this is always included in my breakfast even if I don’t write it lol)
Lunch:400 calories, 37 carbs
1 Sesame Salmon filet
1 cup Sesame Lo-Mien
½ Grilled zucchini and carrots
Snacks:each around 100 calories, almost 0 carbs
1 cup Mixed fresh veggies (few carrots, cauliflower and cucumbers)
2 tbs Pesto basil hummus
1 tbs Peanut butter (if Im really hungry Ill grab a table spoon of peanut butter to tide me over between meals)
1 Greek yogurt (oikos is my favourite)
We all know that I don’t cook dinner during the week SO hopefully I can control my calorie intake during this meal.
I am feeling great this week with my meal prep and workouts. I hope everyone else is doing well with their Journeys, whether it be weight loss or life in general! Let me know how you are doing and what steps you are taking towards a better you!
Thank goodness that first week is finished. It was killer after taking just over 2 weeks off in-between challenges. My advice: NEVER EVER take that much time off in between workouts and think you will be fine…you wont be. It felt like those workouts were the hardest workouts that I had ever done, and I had done pretty much all of them before in my last challenge.
Thankfully, I got through 4 of the 5 days of workouts. Yes that does mean that I skipped 2 of the 6 work outs that were required but you know what? That is OK. I am easing back into it. I definitely could not have completed all of the workouts. I had one day that I actually fell asleep before my 7-year-old while we were watching TV. I was in bed by 8 that night lol. I also had a very busy weekend. Life gets in the way, and that is OK.
This week I hope to be able to complete all of the workouts. I’m not making any promises, but for now I plan to do them all.
I am also still on track with my meals. Meal prep is the only way for me to be able to eat healthy and really watch what my calorie and carb intake. For now, my lunches consist of 1 salmon filet cooked on the barbecue in a foil packet, 8 asparagus spears, and about 3/4 cup of wild rice blend. I have 3 lunches made so that I can just throw it into my lunch pail the night before and its ready to go in the morning. For breakfasts I am still having greek yogurt and berries. If i’m really hungry I have a hard-boiled egg in there and 1/2 a cucumber cut up. I find that if I don’t pack my lunch or my snacks, I am starving and I go out to eat. Fridays I don’t usually bring a lunch though. That is my day to eat out. 😀
I will post some more of the workouts that I’ve been doing and how difficult or easy I am finding them as I go.
When I first began my fitness journey I told myself that I would be completely honest with myself and this blog. I told you that I was going to be completely honest as well. So I am here to tell you that I have gained 5 pounds back of my 11 pound weight loss.
This weight gain made me a little bit upset at first. How could I have gained 5 pounds in 1 week? Ive worked so hard, pushed myself during my work outs, even doing some workouts by myself. But, in all reality, it is my own fault. It was my birthday weekend. I let myself sit around and do nothing, eat junk, over indulge in drinks, cake, food in general, so I am paying the price.
Do I feel discouraged about gaining 5 pounds? Sure. Some of the weight is from over indulging, but some is from building muscle (or at least that’s what Im telling myself lol). Do I feel guilty that I had a lazy and crazy weekend? Absolutely not. I had so much fun with my family and my girlfriends last weekend that those 5 pounds were worth it. I need to be able to live my life and have fun doing it.
That being said, I am going to work my ass off this week!
We started back to our workouts full force last night, beginning with T25 Cardio. I dont know why but this cardio video is my absolute favourite of all the videos so far (and let me tell you, I hate cardio).
We were on the ball last night. We worked it hard. We were breathing heavy (panthing even) to the point where we could barely speak, sweat was dripping, and our hearts were pounding. There were times that our muscles pretty much gave up (those damn squats Im tellin ya!) and Im not going to lie it was hard as hell, but there was not one moment where either of us stopped moving. I had determination to get this workout done and to work as hard as I could through the entire thing and I did. I am so proud of how hard we worked, how hard I worked.
I was so determined yesterday that I was going to work out hard, that after the 25 minute Cardio I got out my weights and started lifting. I did a bunch of different excersizes to work out my arms as I have barely any muscle in that area. This wasnt necissarily an excersize for weight loss, but I also want to build muscle on this fitness journey and I feel that so far the videos have not helped me in the area of my upper body. Now I will tell you, I CANNOT lift very much. I had two weights weighing 3lbs each (yes only 3lbs each) and I could barely get through 3 reps of 10. Who am I kidding I could barely get through 1 rep of 10! But I lifted for another 25 minutes. I completed 3 reps of 10 for EACH muscle group in my arms/back/shoulders, which I thought was pretty good for the first time lifting :).
I cant wait to do this all again tonight. Maybe some Ab Intervals? Maybe some full body? We will see!
Festivities began on Friday when the guys (and Janice) from work brought me out for a drink. When I say a drink, I mean literally 1 drink (I had to drive home afterwards you know). But really, I love these guys. They are what helps make my work day bearable. One of the guys who no longer works with us even came out to wish me a Happy Birthday. This is the only part of my job that I absolutely love, the people that I work with. I don’t think I would be able to get through an entire week of work without them, or I would go crazy.
I knew I had to work out Friday because the rest of the weekend was going to be filled with rest days and over indulging. Once I got home, I was antsy. I knew that feeling. Its the feeling that I’d been waiting for, for the past few weeks. The feeling of needing to move my body. The need to sweat and feel the exhaustion in my muscles. The feeling and need to work out. FINALLY!
As soon as my daughter was in bed I went to work. I was still sore from the other workouts that had been done throughout the week so anything with planks or generally getting on the floor were out of the question. I went with the T25 Cardio. I chose the T25 Cardio because it pushes you to work harder, it makes you sweat like crazy and I just love this workout.
I did mostly all modified but I was able to do SOME of the moves un-modified, which is a change from last week. I sweat my butt off and when I was finished, I felt amazing.
Saturday and Sunday were our ‘rest’ days, although I did not get a whole lot of rest they were still pretty great.. Saturday consisted of baking cupcakes for nephew’s 1st birthday party, going to get my nails done with my daughter, getting ready and dancing the night away with some of the most amazing ladies in my life ❤ Sunday consisted of decorating said cupcakes for nephews birthday and setting up/going to nephew’s birthday party!! YAY!
All in all, it was a great weekend and I got a great workout in there too.
The original plan for my weight loss journey was to do everything myself. Plan alone, work out alone, succeed alone.
But what fun is that? :)
My best friend, or should I say my Main B*tch, as we so lovingly call each other, has decided to complete the 30 day challenge with me. I’m pretty pumped about this as she has been getting pretty down about her body ever since she had her son, 11 months ago. I tell her daily that she looks amazing (because she Does!) but that is something that you have to believe about yourself before you can really hear it from others.
So she IS IN. We are in this together. Hopefully to keep each other motivated and provide support for each other when we need it, and even when we don’t.
The only thing I am worried about is becoming dependent on her. I do not want that to happen. I have, in the past, gotten ready to loose weight with a friend and then if they do not want to go to the gym I don’t go either. If that friend eats a burger, well hell I might as well eat one too right? This will not happen to me this time. I have decided to do this on my own and I will do it whether I have company or not, whether I have a workout buddy or not. I need to do this for ME, not for anyone else.
I am determined. I am ready to do this for myself 🙂