MY New Year

I went to see my Endocrinologist (my doctor for my Type 1 diabetes) and my dietician last week. Neither of them were happy. Either not happy with me, or not happy with the way things have been going lately. There will be a lot of changes this coming year. Some changes are things that I should have been doing already but maybe had slacked off on for a while *cough* years *cough*. Some things are new, things that I knew in my heart of hearts but needed that official ‘doctor’s advice’ before really settling into my brain. I don’t make new years resolutions. These are changes that need to be made regardless of the time of year. It just so happened that I saw my doctors last week. It’s taken me this long (hence the dead blog space) to really wrap my head around everything. I don’t think I have it completely wrapped…but I am going to get there lol

As per my doctor, my blood sugar (A1C for those of you who actually speak diabetes) was elevated. I have never been one to have a good A1C. In my entire 21 years of being a type 1 diabetic I have only ever had 1 good A1C. But that is going to change (or so says my doctor). I have been instructed to test my blood sugars MORE (I usually fail miserably at this), get my blood work done every month and see a special diabetic nurse every 4-6 weeks. The thing that will be toughest for me will be the testing my blood sugar. I need to test 6+ times a day. Currently, I am lucky if I get in 2 tests a day and this is where I fail at being a diabetic lol. I am going to need to test my blood sugar upon waking up, 30 minutes before and 2 hours after every meal/snack, before bed, in the middle of the night, and any other time I am fasting (lol never) or just feel like it.  I am having a panic attack just writing this, but I NEED to do this. I NEED to wrap my head around it NOW because if I don’t, there is a good chance I will die a lot SOONER than later. There are so many health complications that come along with high blood sugars. They are scarey; I know, I have seen them first hand in other people. Also, once my blood sugars are more under control I will feel so much better and I honestly cannot wait for that. I have felt like shit for years but I have felt even worse in the past few months. This will help me immensely on my journey to a healthy me.

As for the meeting with my dietician and my journey to a FIT me…For a year I have followed the advice of my doctor and have been sticking to a 1200-1300 calorie meal plan in an attempt to lose weight. During this time I have lost an insignificant amount of weight and have stopped loosing altogether over the past 6 months. I couldn’t figure out why? I have been working out and eating as my doctor advised for a year. An entire year and I have lost a total of about 5 pounds compared to my weight at the same time last year. Luckily I went to see my dietician a few days later and she gave me some great news….I have not been eating enough. Maybe that’s not the great news. The great news would be the fact that I get to eat more food! WOOHOO She has set me up with a new meal plan of 1400 calories (more on workout days). The reason, she said, that I have not seen the weight loss that I wanted is 1) because as a type 1 diabetic it is very difficult to lose weight in general and 2) because my metabolism doesn’t have enough calories to work correctly.

I know not to expect a weight loss like most ‘normal’ people experience but I am HOPING *PRAYING* that I will see SOMETHING! Something that is going to at least push me a little closer to my smaller goals that I have set and eventually (in a few years) towards my larger goals.

I am not giving up. This is me jumping over a crack in the sidewalk of my journey. Wish me luck! I am definitely going to need it J

No Pain No Gain

No pain no gain. That’s what ‘they’ say right? Well I am definitely feeling the pain today.

Last week I went to Zumba and nailed it, but as for getting to the gym I only made it there once. So I felt like, while I ate great and stuck to my meal plan for the week, I was really slacking in the workout department. I didn’t have the motivation to go by myself, I went to bed early most of the nights instead of heading to the gym and was just lazy. But I started this week off much better and I am feeling pumped!

I spent the better part of an hour at the gym last night. This is the very first time I have gone to the gym by myself in years. If you know me, or have read my previous blogs, then you know that this is huge for me. As I stepped out of my car I could feel the familiar tightening in my chest. The dreaded panic attack. It’s so bizarre. I can walk into the gym without feeling like this when I am walking in with a friend or my sister, but the second I try to walk in by myself it shows its ugly head. It took me a few minutes to get out of the car and put my feet in motion but once I got started I didn’t let myself stop until I was on the treadmill to warm up! Once in and working I am ok, no panic. It’s just the getting there that trips me up.

I am happy to report that I killed it at the gym last night, all by myself 😀 . I did cardio for 15 minutes, a deep stretch, upper body workout including weights (Im only comfortable lifting around 5 lbs with free weights but I’ll get up there eventually lol), and then I finished up with 10 more minutes of cardio. I felt like I really worked hard, gave it my all and didn’t slack, which I find happens when you aren’t working out with a partner. This really was a great workout and I definitely feel it in my shoulders biceps today.

Meal prep yesterday went really great as well. I will give you a summary as usual, and later this week I will be posting a recipe because honestly, my lunch today was delicious and I cannot wait to eat it again tomorrow!


Breakfast: 165 calories, 22 carbs

  • 1 toast
  • 1/4cup of cottage cheese
  • 4-5 mini cherry or grape tomatoes
  • COFFEE (this is always included in my breakfast even if I don’t write it lol)

Lunch: 400 calories, 37 carbs

  • 1 Sesame Salmon filet
  • 1 cup Sesame Lo-Mien
  • ½ Grilled zucchini and carrots

Snacks: each around 100 calories, almost 0 carbs

  • 1 cup Mixed fresh veggies (few carrots, cauliflower and cucumbers)
  • 2 tbs Pesto basil hummus

OR

  • 1 tbs Peanut butter (if Im really hungry Ill grab a table spoon of peanut butter to tide me over between meals)

OR

  • 1 Greek yogurt (oikos is my favourite)

Dinner:

We all know that I don’t cook dinner during the week SO hopefully I can control my calorie intake during this meal.


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At the gym with my SEESTOR. Being cool taking selfies ❤

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I am feeling great this week with my meal prep and workouts. I hope everyone else is doing well with their Journeys, whether it be weight loss or life in general! Let me know how you are doing and what steps you are taking towards a better you!

Headed In The Right Direction

This past week has been amazing in terms of motivation and actual workouts. My meal planning was not as spot on as it was last week, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t prep at all. I’m waiting for SOMEONE to make cabbage soup with my weekend leftovers soo…I prepped for 2 days instead of the whole week lol

My meal plan for this week includes:

Breakfast 310 calories, 42 carbs – toast with cottage cheese and mini-medley tomatoes

Lunch415 calories, 60 carbs – brown rice, glazed carrots, and my turkey and spinach meat balls OR cabbage soup (once its made and IF there are left overs)

Snacks 90 calories, 4 carbs – mini cucumbers and humus

Monday, as always, was Zumba night. I wasnt feeling great, but I participated. It was a half-assed participation but I made it through the entire hour so I call that a success haha.

My sister and I had talked about wanting to go back to the gym. We also agreed how difficult it was to go to the gym without some kind of partner to encourage us. I need that in my life. I can almost guarantee that I will not go to the gym unless I am going with someone.

So guess what I did on Wednesday AND Thursday?! I went to the GYM :O. It was awful and wonderful all at the same time.

Wednesday was leg day and cardio. I choose the bike almost every time, mostly because of the arthritis in my feet. My legs hurt the next day and by day 2 I couldn’t walk to save my life! But honestly, I welcomed the pain. Yes I bitched about it to anyone who would listen, but I loved every second of it. It meant that I was building muscle and what does muscle do? Muscle helps burn fat 🙂

Thursday I actually pushed my sister to go back to the gym. I was definitely feeling the motivation to get moving. We decided to do arms and abs and then I went for a walk on the treadmill to try and stretch out my sore legs. I would not recommend this as I wanted to keel over the next day lol I should have just done some really good stretches through my thighs instead.

I find the gym or going for a really good walk (it would be run if I was allowed to run) really clears your head. For me this is huge. I over think everything. I re-play conversations or interactions with people over and over again in my head until I am crazily analyzing everything that happened that day or the day before. So I need the gym, the physical exertion, to clear my mind. To think only of what move to do next, what muscle group to work, to push harder…that was bliss to me this week.

I have Zumba again tonight and plan on heading back to the gym at least 2 nights this week. I can’t believe I am saying this but…I am STOKED haha

“Weight loss is like driving: If you ever veer off the the road, just make a U-turn and head back in the right direction.”

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Me and the SEESTER showing off our lack of guns (or at least my lack of guns) at the gym lol

Never Giving Up

Wow. The last few days have been brutal. I have had no energy, no will power, no motivation at all.

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Being silly and sweaty after T25 Cardio on Thursday night
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Stacey being silly and sweaty after T 25 Cardio on Thursday night.

We worked out really hard Thursday and Friday. We decided to do T25 Speed 1.0 and Cardio. They are still really difficult for us, but we have definitely noticed improvements. We are able to work harder during the workouts and sweat a lot more. We still plan to work through the rest of the T25 Alpha videos but we will be focusing on the Speed and Cardio videos. We like these two videos the most.

My goal for focusing on Speed and Cardio is to make it through the entire video without taking a break. Currently I am huffing and puffing 5 minutes in. I usually make it about 10 minutes before I have to grab a sip of water or stand for a minute and take some deep breaths. So I want to eventually make it the entire video without MAXING OUT as they call it in Shaun T land :). Stacey’s goal is to make it the entire video without having to modify. I think that is an amazing goal! I wont get there myself with my arthritis (jumping hurts like a B*TCH) but she will definitely be able to accomplish this goal.


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SWEATY SEFLIE! Gave 110% during T25 Speed 1.0 Friday night.
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Sweaty Selfie! Literally dripping sweat from working it hard on T25 Speed 1.0 Friday night.

This past weekend I hadn’t felt myself and it was really starting to put a damper on things. I had a bad migraine (possibly due to no caffeine or the fact that my period may want to rear its ugly head) and a horrible stomach ache. So I had no motivation. The motivation that I did have, was spent on housework and meal prep for the week. I really didn’t feel like working out Sunday but I knew that I needed to. I suppose doing a half assed workout is better than sitting on said ass doing nothing right?

We did end up doing Speed 1.0 Sunday night after all. I know that I didn’t put my all into it like I have been but I think that’s OK. I still pushed play right? I worked out anyways. Sometimes that is all we can ask of ourselves.

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T25 Speed 1.0. Worked on our speed and stability Sunday night.

Not Journey-ing Alone

The original plan for my weight loss journey was to do everything myself. Plan alone, work out alone, succeed alone.

My Main B*TCH. Love this woman <3But what fun is that? :)

My best friend, or should I say my Main B*tch, as we so lovingly call each other, has decided to complete the 30 day challenge with me. I’m pretty pumped about this as she has been getting pretty down about her body ever since she had her son, 11 months ago.  I tell her daily that she looks amazing (because she Does!) but that is something that you have to believe about yourself before wpid-screenshot_2015-03-30-11-39-27.pngyou can really hear it from others.

So she IS IN. We are in this together. Hopefully to keep each other motivated and provide support for each other when we need it, and even when we don’t.

The only thing I am worried about is becoming dependent on her. I do not want that to happen. I have, in the past, gotten ready to loose weight with a friend and then if they do not want to go to the gym I don’t go either. If that friend eats a burger, well hell I might as well eat one too right? This will not happen to me this time. I have decided to do this on my own and I will do it whether I have company or not, whether I have a workout buddy or not. I need to do this for ME, not for anyone else.

I am determined. I am ready to do this for myself 🙂

About Me

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog!

My name? Mom, Mommy, Mama, or Ashley. I am also known as a; confidante, chaser of bad dreams, kisser of boo boos, meanie, rule maker, rule enforcer, daughter, mother, sister, best friend…..you catch my drift.

I am an outspoken, kind hearted, strong woman. I have an amazing group of family and friends. I love my life and I love myself.

I love myself. That is why I am starting this blog. This blog is about my journey to getting fit. The hitch? I am a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman for those of you who don’t know what BBW means). I have about 80-90 lbs. to loose and it is not going anywhere fast. I have decided to change my life. It is going to be a big change. It will take a lot of time and commitment, but I know that I AM WORTH IT!

I am writing this blog to speak to the things that most people think, but are afraid to say. Hell I am afraid to say them myself! Nonetheless, my goal is to say them anyways.

I am writing this blog for inspiration. To inspire myself and hopefully I will be able to inspire others in the process.

I am also writing this blog so that one day I can look back and say WOW! Look where you were only 30 days ago; 6 months ago, 2 years ago. Look at all you have accomplished. Look at all you have to be proud of.

Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey that they call life.

Don’t worry. This is just the BEGINNING!

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