Confidence Is Key

Self Confidence

Who would have thought, over a year ago, I would feel this good?

It is crazy to believe that when I started this journey I actually felt like crap. Physically and mentally.

A year ago I was always down on myself. I felt ugly and fat and uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt like none of my clothes fit properly and that everyone judged me on how big I was. I was SUPER quiet and introverted when out without my best friends. I couldn’t make it up the stairs at work without getting out of breath. My blood sugars were out of control! I really felt like I was going nowhere in this life of mine.

It is crazy what a year and a half can do. My confidence is at an all time high and I feel great, physically. I actually take selfies and LOVE the way I look. I know its not all about how I look but in all reality, the way I felt about my body totally brought me down. Not saying that I don’t still have those days, everyone does, but they are fewer and farther between. I rely on my girlfriends, in those low times, to help me remember where I have been and where I am going.

What really made me want to write this post was my Zumba class. Zumba is fast paced and you are constantly moving. Shaking your hips, squatting, skipping, jumping, among other things. It is hard but it is SO FUN. When I first started this class I could barely make it through. I did a totally modified version because the jumping and fast paced moves seemed totally impossible. At that time, they were impossible. It HURT to jump, it hurt to do a million calf raise dances, and it sucked! I could not get my body to do what I wanted.

Anyways, in time (AKA a year and a half later), I have built up my stamina, my strength and my stability. I’ve been able to make it through classes without needing to sit out for half of the songs. I am now able to make it through all of the songs in a class and put WAY MORE effort into them. I have even been able to do a lot of the jumping moves that I thought would always be impossible. I still cannot do all of the jumping for the whole class. I still sometimes take 1 song to sit out if I am absolutely winded. I still slack sometimes when I feel like crap. But all of those things are ok because I know that I CAN do it. I AM doing it.

You need to know that the key to a successful fitness journey is not being able to workout hard and for long periods of time. It is not going to the gym and being able to run for an hour on the treadmill or lift 50lb weights or complete an ENTIRE Zumba class. The key to a successful fitness journey is to begin. Begin and keep going no matter how little you can do at first. When I first started with T25 I could only do about 15 minutes before I felt like I wanted to puke. So I did as much as I could and then I stopped and I didn’t feel bad about it because I did SOMETHING.

Just start with something little. Go for a walk, do a 10 minute workout from you tube, take as many breaks as you need to but keep going!

I may not be anywhere near where I want to be. I am not yet be close to my long term goals. I have had set backs but I keep on going and one day I will get there!

This is my Journey ❤

 

Step Goals-EPIC FAIL

 Alright I am just going to be honest here. I have NOT been achieving my goals this week.

I am definitely getting more steps each day than I have been previously but not getting anywhere near my 10,000 step goal. I am telling you because I thought I needed to be honest with myself. I thought I needed to be honest with YOU (whoever actually reads this).

This shit is hard.

I walked at lunch the first 2 days of this week and I STILL hurt. My thighs and calves KILL. Which is awful because, while we did go at a very fast pace, we only went for 30 minutes each time! My muscles should NOT get this tired this quickly. Cant even believe it.

I have walked 2 out of 4 days at lunch. Appointments kept me from getting those other two lunch time walking dates in. By the time I get home its dinner, laundry, lunches, kid in bed and then I am exhausted and go to bed. I literally fell asleep IN my daughter’s bed with her last night at 9PM. I am one tired momma!

Trying to get up more often from my desk and move around is also proving difficult in my line of work. Fielding calls every few minutes, inbetween the constant berating of emails and meetings. It gets crazy! I know…I need to just get it done! I need to just make it a point to get up and go for a 5 minute walk EVERY HOUR. I need to stop making excuses.

I am planning on getting my goals for the rest of the week. Tonight (Thursday) we are headed to the fair which requires TONS of walking, same with tomorrow. Saturday we are walking and DANCING in a parade which will be 5K+ so I will definitely get my 10,000 steps in that day. Sunday is grocery shopping and meal prepping so who knows if I will actually hit my 10,000 step goal but I will be trying!

I am not giving up! I need this routine in my life. Maybe then I will feel that drive to work out that I have missed so much. As for right now…I still don’t feel it L That’s one thing that I really do miss. That CRAVE you get to sweat and breathe heavy…I need to feel that want and I need to feel it now!

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Me after my first 30 minute walk during lunch. My legs didnt hurt then but they do now!

 

 

Meal Prep-Breakfast Time!

What do you eat for breakfast?

We all know that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. I am a savoury kind of girl so I love bacon and eggs. Or an omelette with sausage and mushrooms.

I was never one for breakfast. Even being diabetic I would adjust my insulin so that I didn’t have to eat it. It made my stomach hurt or feel sick if I ate but, knowing how important breakfast was, I tried to find a way to eat it anyways. What I realized was that if I wait until about 2 hours after I wake up, I can eat and not feel crappy and I am full for most of the morning.

Now I find that, without breakfast, I don’t have the fuel to get through the first half of the day. OR if I eat CRAP for breakfast I am starving before lunch is even close to being a possibility. By 10am I will be hungry and craving something like nobody’s business!

My solution for the past few months has been this:wp-1472066120256.jpg

Greek Yogurt Parfait

  • ½ cup Vanilla Oikos greek yogurt
  • 1 tbs Vanilla protein powder
  • ½ cup Welch’s frozen strawberry/blueberry mix
  • ¼ cup Oats and Honey, Nature Valley Protein Granola

Mix the yogurt and the protein powder together FIRST. Once smooth, add in the rest of the ingredients. Also, you can use any frozen OR fresh fruit that you like.

Don’t get me wrong, its actually REALLY good. Its packed FULL of protein, low in carbs (35 in total), and low in calories. It keeps me full ALL morning and I don’t even contemplate snacking. The issue that I have started to find with this is…someone can only eat Greek yogurt SO MANY days in a row before they get sick of it! I am totally Greek yogurt’d out! 

Being so sick of this Greek yogurt breakfast I have been having, I decided to change it up. For me, breakfast has to be something I can either grab and go or can be put together at my desk. That being said I went ahead and made THIS:wp-1472068938369.jpg

Zucchini and Leek Frittata with Bacon

  • 8 eggs scrambled(I ate this for 3 separate meals)
  • 1 small zucchini
  • 1 small leek
  • 3 strips of bacon, already cooked

wp-1472068938368.jpgCook up the zucchini in a frying pan with a little bit of EVOO. Once the zucchini is browned a bit, throw in the leek and cook for another minute. Once the leek has started to get really fragrant, throw in the cooked bacon and then the scrambled eggs. I like to scrape the bottom of the pan a bit when the eggs first get in there. This makes sure that the eggs cook a little more even. Throw the whole thing in the oven on 350F, or even just a LOW broil, until the top of the eggs have set.

My daughter and I both had a bit for snack the night that I made it, and they served as my breakfast for 2 days with melba toasts on the side. I separated them into separate containers and just tossed them into the microwave for a minute or two when I was ready to eat them. They were SO good and totally helped by giving me a healthy break from my usual breakfast and giving me that savouriness that I crave!

So, what do you eat for breakfast? Do you have any awesome breakfast meal prep recipes? I NEED MORE. Leave me a comment and let me know!

 

I’m Back Baby!

I’m back!

I cannot believe that it has been 3 months since my last ‘REAL’ post. Life got busy, I got lazy, and everything was kind of set on Auto-Pilot for a while. You know the whole…get up and get ready for work, get the kid up and ready for daycare, go to work, come home, dinner, make lunches, do laundry, study for school, go to bed and start the whole thing over again tomorrow thing? Ya that has been my life for the past while.

This post is actually really difficult for me to write. My first post in what seems like forever but I need to be honest and I need to be real. That’s what my blog has been about all along.

So here is my truth: I haven’t been going to the gym. I have barely made it to Zumba. I basically haven’t done ANY workouts in what seems like forever. My meal prep has been lacking as well. My go to these days are yogurt with protein powder and fruit for breakfast, a frozen Steamer or Lean Cuisine for lunch, some cucumbers with cheese for snack and whatever is ready for dinner when I get home from work. Not awful but not the best.

I saw a nutritionist who instructed me to lose all carb in my diet. I know that this is what most people do to lose weight but as a Type 1 Diabetic I do not feel comfortable doing that. My dietitian has ALWAYS made me think that carb is an important part of a Type 1 Diabetic diet. The nutritionist also asked me to double my water consumption (I am now drinking approximately 16 cups of water a day…thats like 3 liters of water LOL) so you know what else I’ve been doing a lot of haha.

My weight hasn’t fluctuated MUCH. I am definitely up a few pounds but fitting into smaller sizes WOOHOO. Before I saw the nutritionist I had actually gone down 1 full dress size. Which just seems insane and impossible to me. This just goes to show you that the number on the scale is not always what it seems to be. I am currently hitting the scale around 225 to 230 pounds (I know the number scares me too) So I must have gained some muscle mass while I WAS working out…now the trick is not to lose it!

I have a new fitness DVD sitting at home just waiting to be opened and put into the DVD player. I just need to find that drive and motivation that I had when I first started this process.

Even though nothing seems to help me lose weight and nothing seems to be going the way it should I am trying to keep going. It is very frustrating and disheartening but I need to push forward or I will NEVER reach my goals. And that is NOT an option.

Here is to pushing forward and getting back that motivation to move my ass! ❤

 

Meal Prep Monday + My Journeying

For those of you who know me personally, you know that I was not blessed with a butt. I have never in my life been the girl with the ‘booty’, the ‘ba-donk-a-donk’, or the ‘junk in her trunk’. My sister and I both suffer from ‘pancake booty’ or in other words…a flat ass lol We blame our parents for our misfortune as neither of them have a booty either (I curse you GENES!!). Anyways, I tell you about my flat butted issues because after working out for the past few months and really giving my all to those squat thrusts and squat lifts and squat (whatever other kind of squat you can think of) during Zumba…I, OFFICIALLY, have a booty lol WOOHOO me lol this is a huge accomplishment and I am happy to share it with the world…or at least my small blogging family.

It hasn’t been all wondrous news though. I did a weigh in recently and..I have gained. I am now basically back to my pre-journey weight. WTF?! I know that this weight is muscle. I know this because I can see my body changing. Not just my new ass 😀 but my stomach is visibly (even to me) smaller, my hips and my thighs are tighter etc. Even though I know that this weight gain is a result of building muscle, which is a great thing, I still feel appalled. Appalled at myself for not losing anything. Appalled at my body for being so resistant to weight loss. Appalled at the fact that I have been on this journey for a year, and after all of the work that I put in, I am not any closer to the goals that I had in mind than I was before. Maybe I am a little closer (see: my booty) but not anywhere near where I expect to be at this stage in the game.

Even though I have had a rough go, I am not letting this stop me. Back to the doctors I go to see what the next plan of action is. What else I need to change. I know that I need to get in more muscle building workouts because honestly, I don’t do them at all right now. The only thing I do is Zumba for an hour 2-3 times a week. Since Zumba focuses on legs and cardio my next step is starting to add in 1 workout a week (for now) focused mainly on building muscle in my mid to upper body. This is the hardest part because I will be doing this at home. If you ask my Zumba instructor, I have NEVER missed a class, shown up late once or twice yes, but never missed..not even one. I have never been a class person but clearly the fact that I have other people expecting me to be there actually pushes me to go lol Doing a workout at home, by myself most likely, is what will be hard. But I can do it!! I need to do it!

Anyways, I meal prepped my ass off yesterday and have some great lunches and snacks to show for it this week. You know I always struggle with my dinners as I don’t cook them but my gym has this awesome program where you can purchase meals for $8. They are prepared fresh and you can have them customized to exactly what you want and need. EX) if you need to stay below a certain amount of calories per meal or if you have dietary restrictions you tell them that and they make the meals customized to you. It’s basically meal prepping but I don’t have to do any of the work lol So I purchased a few of those this week to try out. I plan on using them specifically for dinner so that maybe I can get a more balanced meal than I have been (You mean a bowl of Mac N’ Cheese isn’t a balanced meal?!?! :O). So here is my meal plan for the next week:

Breakfast: 240 calories, 45 carbohydrates

  • 1 packet of Quaker Oats Maple Oatmeal
  • 1 apple

Morning Snack: 100 calories 0 carbohydrates

  • ½ cup 1% cottage cheese
  • ½ cup sliced cucumber

Lunch: 340 calories, 40 carbohydrates

  • 1 baked tilapia filet
  • ½ cup uncle ben’s brown and wild rice
  • 1 cup steamed broccoli

Afternoon snack: 0 calories, 0 carbohydrates

  • Fresh veggies. If I really need something yummy I will add in some laughing cow cheese (this makes it 50 calories, 0 carb)

Dinner:

  •  I don’t know the exact details of these yet but under 450 calories and I requested 3 meals, 1 steak, 1 chicken, 1 salmon with veggies and a carb.

Other snacks: 100 calories each (I may not eat all of these in 1 day, I switch it up for whatever I am feeling or add in one of these if I need a sweet treat)

  • 1 Oikos Greek Yogurt-desert flavour (lemon meringue anyone?!)
  • 1 Chewy granola bar
  • Guacamole with a few Tostitos

My lunch was super yummy and I can’t wait to eat it again tomorrow…and the for the rest of the week :O lol

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My lunches before I put the rice in. If you put the tilapia over the veggies to re-heat it will add flavour and you will not have to add Salt.

Did you meal prep this week? What did you make? Do you count calories or do something else to help control or lose weight?

Truth Hurts!

The truth hurts…and it hurts sooo bad!

My truth is that I havent worked out faithfully in over a month. A workout here, a long walk there, just doesnt add up to the regular workouts that I was used to doing. Because of this, I have lost muscle tone. I havent gained any weight and my clothes are still fitting the same, but I can feel my muscles tiring more easily.

So, I decided that yesterday was my re-start date. Yesterday was really when the truth hit me…and it hit me hard. I did T25 Alpha Cardio and I almost didnt make it! I felt like giving up hald way through. My muscles were not moving like I was used to them moving. This sucked! But honestly, I am so happy that I finished that damn workout.

My plan is to work out 4 nights a week, with a stretch/yoga day thrown in there somewhere. I am going to do T25 Alpha for at least 3 weeks and then Im going to move up to the T25 Beta that I was supposed to start weeks and weeks ago. That is when I plateaud with the workouts…when I was supposed to move up to the next level (Beta). Maybe I was scared, maybe I just got lazy but Im ready now.

I am ready to be strong and fit. I am ready to be a better me than I am right now.

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In A Slump

I was getting into a slump, a rut, getting bored with my day to day workout. I felt like I just needed a little pick me up, something to put me into a better mood when I knew it was time to sweat. I finally realized that I have never bought  workout clothes to actually work out in before.

I have yoga pants, and tanks and big t-shirts that I work out in but I also wear those on a regular basis. I do not have a sports bra of any sort, or any kind of workout gear that would make me feel good about myself. So guess what I went out and bought?

I bought a sports bra (FINALLY) as I was sick of sweating in, and stinking up my good (very expensive) bras. I also bought myself 2 sweat-wicking workout tanks that are pretty cute. Next is a pair of good workout capris and another sports bra and I am all set!

I know that this journey is not about material things. I know that. But sometimes you want to feel good about yourself while on that journey and this is just a step in the right direction. I feel like it helps me get my head into the game, it helps me prepare. It might sound silly to you but I know that when I put those workout clothes on (and I ONLY wear them to work out in) I am going to work and sweat my ass off and that it will be ok.

Its just another step on this journey of mine. And it has definitely given me a pick me up. 🙂

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Ugly Hair, Dont Care. Love my new workout clothes.
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Always smiling ❤

Back on the Band Wagon!

Ok, so I need to get pumped again. Ive been dragging my ass for the past 2 weeks and enough is enough.

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Monday Night Sweaty Selfie. T25 Cardio DONE!

Yesterday (Monday) was my first day of my new Beach Body Challenge.  It is a T25 specific challenge, but it is 10 weeks long and it features the entire program. I feel like I need these challenges to stay accountable. Without them, I just go off on my merry way and don’t force myself to work out. And right now, I literally have to force myself. I do not WANT to work out. It does not feel good or look good or make me feel all happy afterwards…no, it makes me kind of want to cry, or puke, or both. But guess what? I KNOW that I need to do this. I know that I will never get better, never loose this god forsaken weight unless I am giving it my all…and I am. I am now.

I am choosing (AGAIN) to do start this weight loss journey. Not that I ever actually stopped or gave up or anything, I just took a break that I shouldnt have. I figure, at least it wasnt a year long break like my last one, it was only 2 weeks. Next time, maybe it will only be 1 week, then no weeks.

This journey is for life. It is not a month, or wpid-20150519_082458.jpga year, or until I loose the amount of weight that I want to loose. It will become my way of life. It just takes time to form habits. Look how long I was eating like crap and not working out. It is going to take time to form this healthy lifestyle. Im not promising myself that I will EVER love to workout, or love eating fruit and yogurt for breakfast instead of eating a breakfast sandwhich from McDonalds….what I am promising myself is that it will be worth it.

The Goals For My Future

I was asked a few simple questions today. A few simple questions that have made me realize that I have been lying to myself for a really long time. I was asked: What made you decide to loose weight now? Whats different from the last time you tried to loose weight? What are your goals and when do you think you will achieve them?

2 years ago, I got it into my head that I was going to loose 100 pounds in a year. Easy enough right? I was working out, mainly speed walking at the gym, when I started getting horrible pain in my feet. I later found out that I have arthritis, in my feet and knee, at the ripe old age of 25 (at the time). I also got a really horrible tissue infection in my right leg that left me down for the count for about 6 weeks. These were all really good excuses as to why I quit.

In all reality, I was scared shit-less. Scared of the pain in my feet and scared of infection returning to my leg. I never told anyone that until a few months ago. I think actually telling someone my fear is what really helped me decide that it was time to try again. Hearing myself say out loud “I am afraid” brought me to reality.

So I begin again.

My weight loss Journey.

Why now?

I am sick and tired of being fat! Being a BBW is fine, and I do love myself. I am beautiful, intelligent, strong willed and I have a killer personality but being fat sucks! I cannot do everything that I want to do in life, while I am in this body.

How long will it take?

This time around I put no time limit on my journey. It will take as long as I need it to take. Maybe three years, maybe it will never be over, and that’s OK.

My Goals?

I believe my goals will be ever changing. That is why my journey may never be over. But for now my goals are as follows:

1) Lead a healthy lifestyle.

This includes eating healthier (not any specific diet, I am still going to live my life, but just healthier choices), and getting active. This will help me, and hopefully set a better example for my daughter.

2) Loose 20 pounds.

This is my first actual weight loss goal. Once I reach it I will up the anti but for now…I am half way there!

3) Be under 200 pounds.

My goal weight is 150 pounds but I am not focusing on that just yet. Getting under 200 pounds will be a huge accomplishment as I have not been that weight since I was about 17 years old.

4) Be able to shop in ANY store I want.

This is actually a huge one for me. I have been shopping in plus size stores since I was 17, and paying the plus size price tag as well. I love that there are stores targeted specifically to plus size woman. There are even stores targeted to YOUNG plus size woman. But you know what? Im sick of being confined to a few stores that I can buy clothing at.

I am a young 20 something. I want to be able to walk into any store, try something on, and have it fit! I want to be able to be on trend and be able to go shopping where all of my girlfriends shop instead of dragging them to Addition-elle or Maurice or Penningtons for myself. I want to be able to buy what I want, from wherever I want.

5) Stop saying no to active play with my daughter.

I do this. I know every parent doeswpid-20150226_174802.jpg it at some point or another but I do it so often that my daughter no longer wants to do anything active, even if I suggest it. I feel like a failure in this aspect but that is going to change. We will get outside and do things together and I will no longer say no, or take no for an answer.

Why is this time different than the last?

I am sick of making up excuses as to why I ‘cant’ excersize. I am an able bodied person. It might take me double the time to do the same workout as someone half my size, I may have to modifty every single move for my arthritis and just because I am not up to that specific skill set or speed yet, but thats OK! Thats OK because Im not going to sit on my ass and watch my life go by anymore. I am going to get up and live it.

My Motivation

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Sunday Prep Day!

The 30 day Beach Body Challenge begins tomorrow!

Part of the Challenge includes a professional meal plan. Im not really sure how I feel about this. Really, as a diabetic I KNOW how to eat healthy and to count calories and carbs. The reality IS that I over eat. I eat fruit and vegetables every day but it is the amount of them that I need to change. Sadly, I am seeing the same thing with my 7 year old daughter. It makes me feel like a horrible mother seeing her always want more more more food. Hopefully, as she sees me changing, it will be easier to get her to change as well.

So to get organized, in terms of food, I went to the grocery store to pick a few things up. Personally I am not following the plan exactly as put out. I am a type 1 diabetic, have been since I was 6 years old. So I found that the meal plan, for my needs as a diabetic, wasn’t going to work. So I am tweaking it as I see fit.

My meal plan for this week includes:

Breakfast
Berries and Greek yogurt (I already eat this for breakfast pretty much every day anyways)

Snack #1
Nachos
I cannot believe that this is actually an option as listed in the Beach Body meal plan.

Lunch
Teriyaki beef fajitas with peppers, onions, and mushrooms

Snack #2
Veggies and hummus
This was not an option in the Beach Body meal plan but I have to watch my carb count throughout the day. For me vegetables = no carbs and I only use use about 2 tbs of hummus.

Dinner
This is where it gets tricky. I eat whatever someone else (usually my mother) cooks for dinner, as I get home to late in the evening to prepare dinner for myself and my daughter.
I think as long as I watch my portion control carefully at dinner, and count my calories, I will do just fine.

The past few weeks I have perfected the art of preparing a week’s worth of lunches in one day. So after I returned home from the grocery store that is exactly what I did.

Sunday prep day
Sunday prep day
Strawberries has the lowest carb count out of all of the berry family.
Strawberries have the lowest carb count out of all of the berry family.
Strawberries and blueberries measure the same when counting carbohydrates. 1 c=1c
Strawberries and blueberries measure the same when counting carbohydrates. 1 c=1c
Prepped and ready to go <3
Prepped and ready to go ❤
Veggies prepped and ready to go <3
Veggies prepped and ready to go ❤

Now Im ready to take on the world!! 😀

Haha, well I guess I wouldn’t go that far, but I am prepared. I am prepared to eat healthy (and in smaller portions). I am prepared to begin this journey to a lighter, healthier me!

Do you meal prep ahead of time? Let me know, I want to hear from you 🙂