Confidence Is Key

Self Confidence

Who would have thought, over a year ago, I would feel this good?

It is crazy to believe that when I started this journey I actually felt like crap. Physically and mentally.

A year ago I was always down on myself. I felt ugly and fat and uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt like none of my clothes fit properly and that everyone judged me on how big I was. I was SUPER quiet and introverted when out without my best friends. I couldn’t make it up the stairs at work without getting out of breath. My blood sugars were out of control! I really felt like I was going nowhere in this life of mine.

It is crazy what a year and a half can do. My confidence is at an all time high and I feel great, physically. I actually take selfies and LOVE the way I look. I know its not all about how I look but in all reality, the way I felt about my body totally brought me down. Not saying that I don’t still have those days, everyone does, but they are fewer and farther between. I rely on my girlfriends, in those low times, to help me remember where I have been and where I am going.

What really made me want to write this post was my Zumba class. Zumba is fast paced and you are constantly moving. Shaking your hips, squatting, skipping, jumping, among other things. It is hard but it is SO FUN. When I first started this class I could barely make it through. I did a totally modified version because the jumping and fast paced moves seemed totally impossible. At that time, they were impossible. It HURT to jump, it hurt to do a million calf raise dances, and it sucked! I could not get my body to do what I wanted.

Anyways, in time (AKA a year and a half later), I have built up my stamina, my strength and my stability. I’ve been able to make it through classes without needing to sit out for half of the songs. I am now able to make it through all of the songs in a class and put WAY MORE effort into them. I have even been able to do a lot of the jumping moves that I thought would always be impossible. I still cannot do all of the jumping for the whole class. I still sometimes take 1 song to sit out if I am absolutely winded. I still slack sometimes when I feel like crap. But all of those things are ok because I know that I CAN do it. I AM doing it.

You need to know that the key to a successful fitness journey is not being able to workout hard and for long periods of time. It is not going to the gym and being able to run for an hour on the treadmill or lift 50lb weights or complete an ENTIRE Zumba class. The key to a successful fitness journey is to begin. Begin and keep going no matter how little you can do at first. When I first started with T25 I could only do about 15 minutes before I felt like I wanted to puke. So I did as much as I could and then I stopped and I didn’t feel bad about it because I did SOMETHING.

Just start with something little. Go for a walk, do a 10 minute workout from you tube, take as many breaks as you need to but keep going!

I may not be anywhere near where I want to be. I am not yet be close to my long term goals. I have had set backs but I keep on going and one day I will get there!

This is my Journey ❤

 

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Pushing Through

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Sweaty selfie after Zumba class 😀

This past week has been full of motivation and pushing through.

If you read my recipe post then you know that my weight is down another 2 pounds, which is crazy in the 2 weeks that I’ve been giving it my all. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself again last night.  I gained back those 2 pounds plus 1. I don’t know why I felt the need to get on the scale. What is our obsession? I know that the 3 pound weight gain is incorrect. I had JUST eaten, I had just finished Zumba an hour before and I am about to start my period (sorry for the over share). This is not the day that I usually weigh myself and I vow not to weigh myself mid-week ever again lol

Getting back on topic though. Zumba is still going great, I am still loving every sweaty second of it! It blows my mind to see how many steps you take and how many calories you actually burn in that hour. It literally accounts for over half my steps on that day and it seems to go by so quickly.

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sweaty selfie at the gym

The gym is going well, but I am still finding it really difficult to get there. Not even to physically get there (I live 2 minutes away), but to mentally prepare myself to work out in the way that you work out at a gym. I find myself standing there, staring at all the machines not knowing which ones to do in what order. I also find that when I go to the gym by myself, I DO NOT push hard enough. Example: I went to the gym with my sister and we killed it. I felt that wonderfully awful pain in my muscles for days- that only a good workout can give you. The next week, I went to the gym by myself and thought I killed it! But during the next few days I waited for that delicious muscle pain and felt NOTHING. Clearly I did not push myself hard enough, even though during my workout I felt like I did.

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sweaty selfie AFTER the gym when I’ve fallen onto the couch and cant get up

On a better note, I did have a personal triumph at the gym (by myself) this week that I was really excited about 🙂 It was Sunday and I really did not want to be at the gym. I could not mentally wrap my head around a workout so, with a great pep talk from my friend, I decided that it was a cardio night. After spending 25 minutes on the bike and getting my stretches in, I decided to spend the rest of my time on the treadmill. 5 minutes in and I was ready to go home but I kept telling myself “1 more minute” or “after this song is done” or “finish this lap”. After 15 minutes I still did not want to be at the gym BUT I did feel like the walking wasnt enough so…I jogged. If you know me, or have read my blog, then you know that I am not necessarily supposed to jog because of the arthritis in my feet. But I felt really good and I felt like I could. I jogged for 3 minutes straight. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot of time to most people but for me, someone who hasn’t even attempted jogging in over 2 years, its huge. It felt amazing and although I could feel my feet hurting it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t push myself over the edge because I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day if I did but I’m proud of myself.

So clearly some days I need to really push myself. Wether its to lift more weights, do more squats or just to keep going on my own. I made it a total of 20 minutes on the treadmill Sunday night, 3 of those jogging, before calling it a night. I pushed through that mental road block and am so glad that I didn’t leave after only 5, 10, or 15 minutes. Accomplishments, whether they are big or small, and progress in the right direction should always be celebrated.