Zumba! With A Hint of Anxiety.

I started in a Zumba class this week. Its taken a lot for me to feel comfortable participating in any kind of excersize class. I dont want people to see me and all of my jiggly bits, jumping, bouncing OR shaking (and trust me we shook ALOT).  Honestly, I was not comfortable at first BUT I pushed through that social anxiety and went…by myself.

Going by myself is huge. I have always suffered from social anxiety and to think about just a few years ago when I could not go anywhere by myself. I always had to have someone come with me almost everywhere or I would make up excuses as to why I couldnt go or do something. Whether I was with a group of friends or not I would have all of these thoughts running through my head about how others perceived me, judged me. I wasnt pretty enough, or thin enough, I was way to fat, or at least fatter than ALL of my friends, I wouldnt know what to say or be able to come up with any witty comebacks etc.

…to now…going to a fricken zumba class by myself? Im pretty impressed with me right now 😀

Im not saying that I did not have any of those thoughts. At times I thought, omg everyone just saw me trip on my own foot, or I eww Im disgusting by how much Im sweating. But guess what I saw when I looked around? I saw other people tripping…and sweating..and still having fun! So guess what I did? I let myself have some damn fun too!

It was a great class! And yes, everyone was DRENCHED by the middle. And I actually did not feel as judged as I thought I would. I liked it so much that I signed up for the rest of the 10 classes in advance. :O I know, I cant believe it either haha.

So go get out there and let yourself have some fun and get some excersize while your at it!

wpid-20150921_200952.jpg
After Zumba

About Me

Hello and thank you for visiting my blog!

My name? Mom, Mommy, Mama, or Ashley. I am also known as a; confidante, chaser of bad dreams, kisser of boo boos, meanie, rule maker, rule enforcer, daughter, mother, sister, best friend…..you catch my drift.

I am an outspoken, kind hearted, strong woman. I have an amazing group of family and friends. I love my life and I love myself.

I love myself. That is why I am starting this blog. This blog is about my journey to getting fit. The hitch? I am a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman for those of you who don’t know what BBW means). I have about 80-90 lbs. to loose and it is not going anywhere fast. I have decided to change my life. It is going to be a big change. It will take a lot of time and commitment, but I know that I AM WORTH IT!

I am writing this blog to speak to the things that most people think, but are afraid to say. Hell I am afraid to say them myself! Nonetheless, my goal is to say them anyways.

I am writing this blog for inspiration. To inspire myself and hopefully I will be able to inspire others in the process.

I am also writing this blog so that one day I can look back and say WOW! Look where you were only 30 days ago; 6 months ago, 2 years ago. Look at all you have accomplished. Look at all you have to be proud of.

Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey that they call life.

Don’t worry. This is just the BEGINNING!

Featured image