Confidence Is Key

Self Confidence

Who would have thought, over a year ago, I would feel this good?

It is crazy to believe that when I started this journey I actually felt like crap. Physically and mentally.

A year ago I was always down on myself. I felt ugly and fat and uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt like none of my clothes fit properly and that everyone judged me on how big I was. I was SUPER quiet and introverted when out without my best friends. I couldn’t make it up the stairs at work without getting out of breath. My blood sugars were out of control! I really felt like I was going nowhere in this life of mine.

It is crazy what a year and a half can do. My confidence is at an all time high and I feel great, physically. I actually take selfies and LOVE the way I look. I know its not all about how I look but in all reality, the way I felt about my body totally brought me down. Not saying that I don’t still have those days, everyone does, but they are fewer and farther between. I rely on my girlfriends, in those low times, to help me remember where I have been and where I am going.

What really made me want to write this post was my Zumba class. Zumba is fast paced and you are constantly moving. Shaking your hips, squatting, skipping, jumping, among other things. It is hard but it is SO FUN. When I first started this class I could barely make it through. I did a totally modified version because the jumping and fast paced moves seemed totally impossible. At that time, they were impossible. It HURT to jump, it hurt to do a million calf raise dances, and it sucked! I could not get my body to do what I wanted.

Anyways, in time (AKA a year and a half later), I have built up my stamina, my strength and my stability. I’ve been able to make it through classes without needing to sit out for half of the songs. I am now able to make it through all of the songs in a class and put WAY MORE effort into them. I have even been able to do a lot of the jumping moves that I thought would always be impossible. I still cannot do all of the jumping for the whole class. I still sometimes take 1 song to sit out if I am absolutely winded. I still slack sometimes when I feel like crap. But all of those things are ok because I know that I CAN do it. I AM doing it.

You need to know that the key to a successful fitness journey is not being able to workout hard and for long periods of time. It is not going to the gym and being able to run for an hour on the treadmill or lift 50lb weights or complete an ENTIRE Zumba class. The key to a successful fitness journey is to begin. Begin and keep going no matter how little you can do at first. When I first started with T25 I could only do about 15 minutes before I felt like I wanted to puke. So I did as much as I could and then I stopped and I didn’t feel bad about it because I did SOMETHING.

Just start with something little. Go for a walk, do a 10 minute workout from you tube, take as many breaks as you need to but keep going!

I may not be anywhere near where I want to be. I am not yet be close to my long term goals. I have had set backs but I keep on going and one day I will get there!

This is my Journey ❤

 

I’m Back Baby!

I’m back!

I cannot believe that it has been 3 months since my last ‘REAL’ post. Life got busy, I got lazy, and everything was kind of set on Auto-Pilot for a while. You know the whole…get up and get ready for work, get the kid up and ready for daycare, go to work, come home, dinner, make lunches, do laundry, study for school, go to bed and start the whole thing over again tomorrow thing? Ya that has been my life for the past while.

This post is actually really difficult for me to write. My first post in what seems like forever but I need to be honest and I need to be real. That’s what my blog has been about all along.

So here is my truth: I haven’t been going to the gym. I have barely made it to Zumba. I basically haven’t done ANY workouts in what seems like forever. My meal prep has been lacking as well. My go to these days are yogurt with protein powder and fruit for breakfast, a frozen Steamer or Lean Cuisine for lunch, some cucumbers with cheese for snack and whatever is ready for dinner when I get home from work. Not awful but not the best.

I saw a nutritionist who instructed me to lose all carb in my diet. I know that this is what most people do to lose weight but as a Type 1 Diabetic I do not feel comfortable doing that. My dietitian has ALWAYS made me think that carb is an important part of a Type 1 Diabetic diet. The nutritionist also asked me to double my water consumption (I am now drinking approximately 16 cups of water a day…thats like 3 liters of water LOL) so you know what else I’ve been doing a lot of haha.

My weight hasn’t fluctuated MUCH. I am definitely up a few pounds but fitting into smaller sizes WOOHOO. Before I saw the nutritionist I had actually gone down 1 full dress size. Which just seems insane and impossible to me. This just goes to show you that the number on the scale is not always what it seems to be. I am currently hitting the scale around 225 to 230 pounds (I know the number scares me too) So I must have gained some muscle mass while I WAS working out…now the trick is not to lose it!

I have a new fitness DVD sitting at home just waiting to be opened and put into the DVD player. I just need to find that drive and motivation that I had when I first started this process.

Even though nothing seems to help me lose weight and nothing seems to be going the way it should I am trying to keep going. It is very frustrating and disheartening but I need to push forward or I will NEVER reach my goals. And that is NOT an option.

Here is to pushing forward and getting back that motivation to move my ass! ❤

 

Pushing Through

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Sweaty selfie after Zumba class 😀

This past week has been full of motivation and pushing through.

If you read my recipe post then you know that my weight is down another 2 pounds, which is crazy in the 2 weeks that I’ve been giving it my all. Then I made the mistake of weighing myself again last night.  I gained back those 2 pounds plus 1. I don’t know why I felt the need to get on the scale. What is our obsession? I know that the 3 pound weight gain is incorrect. I had JUST eaten, I had just finished Zumba an hour before and I am about to start my period (sorry for the over share). This is not the day that I usually weigh myself and I vow not to weigh myself mid-week ever again lol

Getting back on topic though. Zumba is still going great, I am still loving every sweaty second of it! It blows my mind to see how many steps you take and how many calories you actually burn in that hour. It literally accounts for over half my steps on that day and it seems to go by so quickly.

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sweaty selfie at the gym

The gym is going well, but I am still finding it really difficult to get there. Not even to physically get there (I live 2 minutes away), but to mentally prepare myself to work out in the way that you work out at a gym. I find myself standing there, staring at all the machines not knowing which ones to do in what order. I also find that when I go to the gym by myself, I DO NOT push hard enough. Example: I went to the gym with my sister and we killed it. I felt that wonderfully awful pain in my muscles for days- that only a good workout can give you. The next week, I went to the gym by myself and thought I killed it! But during the next few days I waited for that delicious muscle pain and felt NOTHING. Clearly I did not push myself hard enough, even though during my workout I felt like I did.

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sweaty selfie AFTER the gym when I’ve fallen onto the couch and cant get up

On a better note, I did have a personal triumph at the gym (by myself) this week that I was really excited about 🙂 It was Sunday and I really did not want to be at the gym. I could not mentally wrap my head around a workout so, with a great pep talk from my friend, I decided that it was a cardio night. After spending 25 minutes on the bike and getting my stretches in, I decided to spend the rest of my time on the treadmill. 5 minutes in and I was ready to go home but I kept telling myself “1 more minute” or “after this song is done” or “finish this lap”. After 15 minutes I still did not want to be at the gym BUT I did feel like the walking wasnt enough so…I jogged. If you know me, or have read my blog, then you know that I am not necessarily supposed to jog because of the arthritis in my feet. But I felt really good and I felt like I could. I jogged for 3 minutes straight. Maybe that doesn’t seem like a lot of time to most people but for me, someone who hasn’t even attempted jogging in over 2 years, its huge. It felt amazing and although I could feel my feet hurting it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I didn’t push myself over the edge because I knew I wouldn’t be able to walk the next day if I did but I’m proud of myself.

So clearly some days I need to really push myself. Wether its to lift more weights, do more squats or just to keep going on my own. I made it a total of 20 minutes on the treadmill Sunday night, 3 of those jogging, before calling it a night. I pushed through that mental road block and am so glad that I didn’t leave after only 5, 10, or 15 minutes. Accomplishments, whether they are big or small, and progress in the right direction should always be celebrated.

Sesame Salmon—Recipe

I am happy to report that I have officially lost 3 pounds since my 2 pound weight gain! And I’ve done it in a matter of 2 short weeks! WOOHOO

Working out and building lean muscle is obviously very important in a weight loss journey but I really think that the most important part of my journey is what I eat. I don’t call it a diet because that is NOT what my journey is about. It is a life change. It is not all about eating salad every day or only veggies or only protein for the rest of your life, I still eat really yummy food and have snacks and treats. I just choose healthier options and smaller portions. I also count calories (limiting my daily intake to a certain amount determined by a discussion with my doctor) and carbohydrates. This helps me to still eat things that I want and not binge when I am craving something. It’s still hard a lot of the time, especially the portion control and not being hungry! But I try my best and I am pretty happy with it so far.

Today I am posting a recipe from this week’s meal prepping session! I love salmon and it fits in really nicely with my healthier lifestyle. Salmon is a lean protein which is a good change from red meat. It also is full of the great Omega-3 fatty acids which are nature’s heart medicines. So my recipe for today is a Sesame Salmon that I made to go with my homemade Sesame Lo-Mien and Grilled zucchini and Carrots. Its yummy!

Sesame Salmon

Ingredients

  • 5 Salmon Filets (1 for each day of the week)
  • toasted sesame seeds (I toast mine myself, explained in first step)

Sesame Sauce

  • 3-4 cloves of garlic
  • 1/4 c soya sauce-low sodium
  • 2 tbs sugar
  • 2 tbs rice vinegar
  • 3 tbs sesame oil
  • 1/2 tsp hot chili oil
  • 4 tbs canola oil
  • 4 green onions

Directions:

  1. First, if you have raw sesame seeds, you need to toast them. All you have to do it throw them in a pan on medium and stir them constantly until they begin to brown. If your sesame seeds are already toasted, skip this step!
  2. Pre-heat your oven to 400°F
  3. Arrange salmon on a baking sheet that is lined with tin-foil, making a bit of a tin-foil boat. This helps to keep the salmon in the sauce.
  4. Whisk all of the ingredients for the sauce together in a bowl until the oil and the soya sauce combines. Its pretty leaky but that’s ok.
  5. Using a spoon, spread a few table spoons of sauce on each of the salmon filets
  6. Bake at 400°F for 20 minutes, or until the fish flakes easily.
  7. Half way through baking, put a few more table spoons of the sauce on each salmon filet
  8. Once the fish is done, plate on top of lo-mien or brown rice. Top with toasted sesame seeds.
  9. You can use any left over sauce to coat your lo-mien noodles or some brown rice.
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Sesame Sauce mixed and ready
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My lunch all packed and ready 🙂

My mouth was watering just typing this today. I have already had this for lunch 2 days in a row and I still cannot get enough of it! If you love fish and a you are a sweet and salty lover like me then try this recipe out! Its my new favourite and a great alternative to red meat.

Do you meal prep? Which meals do you prep and what are your favourites? Let me know 🙂

I Am BEAUTIFUL and I KNOW It

8e60d5c61cce20c7a93746a71d3e1329I am writing this post because today a friend of mine told me that she hated her body. She felt invisible in her life because of her size. That she didn’t love the ‘body positivity’ movement that is happening right now because she didn’t feel like she had anything to feel positive about. She is just so unhappy. I hope she doesn’t mind that I am writing a blog about this, but I feel like I need to. You are not alone in this girlfriend!

For me, I have always been the ‘Big’ girl in the group. I know what it feels like to be invisible, to not love my body or myself.  I suffered from depression for most of my teens into my early to mid twenties. I had no self-confidence, low self-esteem and an awful idea of what my body ‘should’ look like.

When I heard my friend say these things, I was stunned. Honestly, I cried. My heart broke. I realized that the reason I was so upset was because I knew EXACTLY how she felt. I hate to say that I used to feel the exact same as my friend and I hate to hear another woman feeling that way. While I do not love the way my body looks all the time (most of the time) I do love myself no matter what size I am.ellenquote

I am beautiful and I know it. I never used to think that. I used to think that I was ugly. But now, I KNOW that I am beautiful.  When I say “I am beautiful” I’m not ONLY talking about my body, or my face, or my hair (although, on most days I do love those things about myself now). I’m talking about the spunk and positivity that I have.  The love that I have, and show, for other people and for myself. True beauty is about having confidence in your self no matter what. To be comfortable with your self and accepting of your self.

I talk about beauty because I felt invisible for so long and then once I had my daughter I stopped giving a shit about if people ‘saw’ me or not. I started doing things for myself; I started dressing the way I wanted to dress and I accepted my body as is. With all of its rolls and stretch marks and ‘jiggly bits’. Accepting the fact that I was fat, and yes I knew I still had to lose weight, but accepting the fact that I was fat and couldn’t change it right this second made me a more confident woman. When I stopped giving a shit, and started taking care of myself, making time for myself (mind body and soul) I became a much happier person. And you know what happened after I did that? People saw me…and they didn’t just see the physical part of me, but they saw the PERSON, the beautiful WOMAN that I am. And I was ok with that.

I know that I am here, talking about my weight LOSS journey. And I know that it sounds hypocritical to say that I love myself or my body but I want to change it. But I also know that if I didn’t choose to live in the light every day, no matter what SIZE I am, that I would not be the person that I am today.

I still have my doubts and negative thoughts about myself and my body (you can read that in past blog posts lol) and I don’t think that will ever fully go away. Everyone has those doubts and thoughts once in a while. I just choose to live happily and love myself despite that. I hope that you (my friend, and anyone else reading this) can start to see the light in your life and not just the dark.

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Results

I started this Journey at 231 pounds in December 2014. This was my starting point of KNOWING that I couldn’t live like this any longer. KNOWING that my weight, me being obese, was going to kill me and leave my daughter without her mommy if I didnt start taking care of it.

Today, 6 months after I came to that realization, I am down 13 pounds. To some that may not seem like a lot but for me, it is a huge accomplishment.  I am also down just over 3 inches, 2 of which are in my tummy/waist. I feel stronger and have more energy too.

I realized after I did all of my measurements and weighed in that I have actually reached 2 of my short term goals. 2 goals down, all in 1 day 🙂

  1. Loose 10 pounds
  2. Get under 220 pounds

So I started at 231 pounds. My current weight is 218 pounds (as of last night). I have not been under 220 pounds since I got pregnant with my daughter 8 years ago! People are commenting on my bum and legs looking slimmer, even though they arent measuring a whole lot less than what they were originally. I think this is because they are getting toned. I can feel that I have less skin/fat hanging on the inside of my thighs. My clothing is not fitting differently yet, but I notice that when I look in the mirror my fat bumps above my belly button and above my butt are definitely getting smaller. This too me is a huge step in the right direction.

This all just amazes me. I am so happy with myself for starting this journey. I am also happy because I am still determined to finish it! I havent given up yet, even though it is difficult, even though I have days that I doubt myself entirely. I am building a whole newly improved me and I am ready for this. 🙂

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

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Lower Focus DONE!

I am in a pretty great mood today. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, 2 pounds have found their way off of my body!…Wait what?

Thats right, I am officially down 2 pounds. Some more not see this as a great weight loss but for me, being a diabetic and the effort that it takes to loose any weight, this is a huge weight loss.  It has brought me that much closer to my first goal of being under 220 pounds. My current weight is 222 pounds so that means I only have 2 more pounds to loose to reach that goal. In total I am down 8 pounds since December!

My workouts, at least the cardio, are getting easier. Well not necessarily easier but I have better balance and can hold positions longer and don’t get AS winded (but still pretty fricken winded).

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Breaky! Oikos vanilla greek yogurt, with berries and some mixed nuts. Yummy ❤

Ive brought lunch with me every day (except Fridays) for the past 3 weeks. On Sundays I make a big batch of whatever it is that I have decided to bring for lunch that week. This week I brought The Biggest Loser Chicken Cacciatore with the Wild Rice Blend that I love

Im feeling pretty good about the path that I have chosen and how I am doing following the path so far. Of course there are and will always be bumps in the road but that is all apart of the journey.

Go out and make a great life for yourself. After all, its the only one you have. 🙂

Back on the Band Wagon!

Ok, so I need to get pumped again. Ive been dragging my ass for the past 2 weeks and enough is enough.

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Monday Night Sweaty Selfie. T25 Cardio DONE!

Yesterday (Monday) was my first day of my new Beach Body Challenge.  It is a T25 specific challenge, but it is 10 weeks long and it features the entire program. I feel like I need these challenges to stay accountable. Without them, I just go off on my merry way and don’t force myself to work out. And right now, I literally have to force myself. I do not WANT to work out. It does not feel good or look good or make me feel all happy afterwards…no, it makes me kind of want to cry, or puke, or both. But guess what? I KNOW that I need to do this. I know that I will never get better, never loose this god forsaken weight unless I am giving it my all…and I am. I am now.

I am choosing (AGAIN) to do start this weight loss journey. Not that I ever actually stopped or gave up or anything, I just took a break that I shouldnt have. I figure, at least it wasnt a year long break like my last one, it was only 2 weeks. Next time, maybe it will only be 1 week, then no weeks.

This journey is for life. It is not a month, or wpid-20150519_082458.jpga year, or until I loose the amount of weight that I want to loose. It will become my way of life. It just takes time to form habits. Look how long I was eating like crap and not working out. It is going to take time to form this healthy lifestyle. Im not promising myself that I will EVER love to workout, or love eating fruit and yogurt for breakfast instead of eating a breakfast sandwhich from McDonalds….what I am promising myself is that it will be worth it.

Trying Something New (Warning, this is a long post)

I have worked out hard 4 out of 5 days so far this week. That is pretty great if I do say so myself. This week got off to a rocky start. Sunday (as you know) was my migraine day but I worked out anyways. Monday was an emotional roller coaster of a day with my cousin going into labour 9 weeks early, my bestie having some horrible personal troubles and me only loosing 1 pound in the past week. So my friend and I had a night of girl talk instead of working out. But the rest of the week is going by smashingly. 🙂

This week I got back into food prep mode because honestly I had been slacking major in this department for a week or so. One of my best friends, who I actually met through work and have had the pleasure of working with for the past almost 3 years, was quitting. So for the last week or so we’ve been going out for lunch, A LOT! I am going to miss his crazy-ness but I digress. I got back on track over the weekend and am feeling good about it.

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Tuesday sweaty selfie after T25 ab intervals.

Tuesday we decided to switch it up from our usual routine of Cardio or Speed 1.0 and we went with one of our other favourites, T25 Ab Intervals. If this is a problem area for you, you really need to try this workout. It works all the muscles in your abdomin and you can really feel it! I can still feel it 2 days later when I have trouble sitting up in my bed haha.

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Being Goofy after 10 minute trainer and another 15 minutes of Turbo Fire and intervals.

Wednesday we really changed it up and went with a totally different workout program.  It was called 10 minute trainer. The moves were not so difficult that you could not follow along but it was difficult in the fact that you were out of breath within two minutes and your muscles were really tired out. I liked this workout for the fact that it only took 10 minutes. Quick and to the point. Overall though, I definately missed my Shawn T time. I found that I caught my breath, and my heart rate was right back to normal, within a few minutes. I didnt feel like I was finished so, I tried out Turbo Fire for a few minutes but ended up just running through a few drills from my T25 Cardio/Speed videos that I remembered.

The thing that I love about T25 anything is…its only 25 minutes! You sweat your ass off and tire out whatever group of muscles that you are working on, but it only lasts for 25 minutes. After that 25 minutes, you can STILL feel your body working. Your heart beat is elevated and muscles are tired for so much longer after your workout which means that you are still burning calories when your finished (AKA, flopped on the couch, breathing heavy but watching your favourite TV show).

What did I learn from this trial and error? I learned that I definately purchased the right program for me. T25 is my kind of workout and I cannot wait until this 30 day challenge is finished so that I can officially start the T25 10 week program!

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Wednesday Night Workouts. 10 Minute Trainer. The little man was helping us.

This is still only the beginning.

This Week Has Been Wonderful <3

This past week has been a pretty great one for me.

First of all, I lost 5 pounds this past week, giving me a total of 11 pounds lost! This brings me to my new weight of 219 pounds.I must say that this feels pretty great. It is the first time I have been under 220 since my daughter was born 7.5 years ago. This just adds fuel to the fire of my Weight Loss Journey.

Second of all, I have officially shared my blog with 2 close friends. Up until this point I wanted to build the content of my blog before sharing with anyone. Who wants to read a blog with 1 post right? But I do want to be held accountable for my actions and my weight loss so I decided to share. I don’t plan on officially sharing it with anyone else just yet, but one day I hope to share it with a lot of people who need the inspiration to start their own Journey.

Third (last but not least) of all, I got my very first follower on my blog. Actually 2 of them! 2 followers for which I do not know personally! He he that sounds silly, but to me it is exciting 🙂

All-in-all this week has been a pretty great one that will only be getting better as over the weekend I will be celebrating my 27th birthday! YAY me! Parties, cakes and a few too many drinks will be had by all. Although, I think the most fun will be celebrating my nephews 1st birthday on Sunday. We are Birthday Buddies and I am so happy to share my birthday with such an amazing little man ❤ Best Birthday present ever!